Sometimes You Just Gotta Put It Out There

So it has been a week. And when I say that, I do not mean it has been amazingly wonderful or graphically horrible. I take either one better than I can handle both – which is pretty much what this week has been. Kingda Ka ain’t got nothing on my week.

There was wonderful family time and a tragic death of a beautiful woman. My grandma called to tell me I was “spectacular” after reading my article in the local newspaper. Someone else thinks I suck for the same article. There were professional wins and losses. I had an exhaustive day getting the kids ready for school then got the four out the door the following morning – the oldest a high school freshman, the baby beginning pre-k. I am feeling a bit emotional.

I am searching deep for my inner snark, who is usually always available and on call. Smart assed humor always helps to calm the fear of releasing my inner cheese and writing the next reject show for Lifetime.

Not really feeling it. So instead, I have decided to pare down the number of Follow Fridays today, embrace the cheddar, and hope somebody has a big box of Ritz.

You make me want to be better

@PhxREguy: When I got out of the Navy and started my real estate career, I was no fish and couldn’t spell pond. It was absolute hell trying to figure out my way, my style, my money after the startling realization that real estate does not have auto payday on the 1st and the 15th with additional benefits for sick kids.

I started blogging because writing was the one thing I could do myself without having to pay anybody. Blogging wasn’t huge yet, but it was well on its way – there were already some emerging cool kids.

Jay and I, through ways I can’t remember now, crossed paths. For whatever reason, he invited me under his wing, into his circle and offered what he knew. I had nothing to offer and still cannot repay the kindness. But he is still offering that support and friendship nearly 6 years later. That kind of heart makes me want to be a better person.

@headmutha: I have never had any problem telling the world just how I feel about the Turner family. But my fascination with Rocky has always felt stalkerish. Don’t look at me like that – if you don’t know at least one real person who makes you goofy star struck, you need cooler people to know.

I realized that I feel that way because I always focus on the cool stuff Rocky does – not the person I think she is. I feel like I know her – I realize I might be all wrong and wish I knew her better. But, I am pretty good at this kind of thing (makes up for the fact that I can’t sing), so I am just gonna put it out there.

Rocky makes it easier for me to be comfortable with the crazy, twisted, wonderful scary thing that is my own skin. She seems eclectic, smart, beautiful, confident and strong. That by itself would be intimidating as hell – it’s like an airbrushed super model. And there are few things about airbrushed I can relate to.

But airbrushed she is not. She has shown herself to have fears, hurts, and questions just like, well, me. And she has demonstrated that fear, overwhelming moments, and general real life stuff is not what defines her – it is how she reacts to those things that are important.

In this display I find a renewed understanding in the idea that I am not flawed or broken – I am beautifully woman. I get back to wanting to be a better person.

@TheRealClint: I wish I could tell you that I know Clint and his family. I wish I could tell you that we connected and have communicated online for years and I am proud to now introduce you to him. I wish I could tell you all the quirky things about him that real friends know. I don’t, we haven’t, and I can’t.

Clint is currently kicking cancer’s ass. Through this epic display of strength and family unity, Clint’s friends have rallied around him. We have some of the same friends and the battle cry could not go unnoticed. What I found was inspiring.

Clint is a real guy, with a real wife, with real children with a real life or death situation. I can’t even begin to imagine. And what you will find about Clint is he is a positive, strong individual – but he ain’t no show off. He hurts and, while he doesn’t wallow, he appreciates the support. He is proud, but no so prideful that he doesn’t know when to reach out. He is strong, but he is quick to give credit to his wife, children and friends for shoring him up . He is challenged, but he refuses to be overrun.

I watch this example from a distance. I watch as instead of focusing on himself, he is quick to return that support to others that need it. I watch as he takes a completely suck situation and turns it into something that is enriching the lives of so many. I watch as what would shatter many has emboldened and solidified. Who am I when I whine about the chores, the job or the weather? I watch the love displayed from and around Clint and I want to be a better person.

I appreciate the three of you very much. Just felt like there was no better time than now to tell you. Hope everyone else will excuse the sap. I won’t apologize for it, but I understand it ain’t always comfortable. I promise I will return to the regularly scheduled program in a bit.