The Big Rocks

If you have been around me for any length of time, you know there are a few things I am passionate about

• I strive to be a decent person. I pride myself on the wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, I try to be.
• I strive to be a writer. I am a lover of words and pride myself on being pretty good with them.
• I strive to be a healthier version of myself. I pride myself on my body’s strength and my connection with how my body best functions.
• I strive to be successful. I pride myself on my business acumen and my ability raise the tide of my ship and those around me.

I berate myself mercilessly when I fail at these things. I shower condemnation on myself when I lose consistency. I apologize for being less than when I feel like I haven’t lived up to.

It is exhausting. It is unproductive.

It is no way I would treat another person. It is consistently how I treat myself.

To adjust these huge roles in my life to where I can strive without losing contentment, aspire without overwhelming myself into paralysis seems quite the feat. Therefore, this idea is very appealing.

A mini habit is basically a much smaller version of a new habit you want to form. 100 push-ups daily is minified into one push-up daily. Writing 3,000 words daily becomes writing 50 words daily. Thinking positively all the time becomes thinking two positive thoughts per day. Living an entrepreneurial lifestyle becomes thinking of two ideas per day (among other entrepreneurial things).

You may [do] more than that. But never less.

There’s some additional science included about the prefrontal cortex, the formation of habit, and the efficient expending of mental energy. I particularly appreciated the new look at motivation for a new perspective

Motivation is an important feeling with many benefits. But think of it as a bonus, something nice when it appears… Motivation is unreliable because it’s based on how you feel, and we’ve known for centuries that human feelings are fluid and unpredictable.

So, I am drinking the koolaid on this one. I head over to minihabits.com and take a look around.

Ok, what actually happens is WAY more embarrassing and I will still tell you.

What actually happens is I try and figure out what my mini habits are going to be. My brain flashes back to years ago when I read Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits for Highly Effective People. Big Rocks. I need to identify my Big Rocks and create mini habits out of those. But what are my Big Rocks? OMG I have no clue! My life is pretty different than the last time I did this. Wait! I think I still have the book. Covey can tell me what my Big Rocks are (you can laugh, I already know how it sounds).

Grabs flashlight on iPhone as to not blind my husband who is still waking up with the overhead light. I go rifling through my bookshelf and god bless that man he doesn’t even ask (he is probably pretty sure at that hour of the morning he doesn’t want to know). I cannot find the book, but I do find the workbook and that should be even better, right?!? It is not.

So, I move on to Google and think “Seriously, why didn’t I just start here?” Well, because Google sucks for this kind of thing (think a sneeze and WebMD).

I start with a completely innocent google search of “What are my big rocks” (because if Facebook can know that I just glanced at a Brahmin handbag while walking through Macy’s because it looked kinda like a mermaid and then fill my feed up with ads for the exact bag, Google should know what my damn Big Rocks are).

Forbes treats me to a brilliant article about priorities. In this article, I learn that “priorities” (thank you Mark Nevins) wasn’t even a WORD until the mid-20^th century. Seriously. Look it up. The word “priority” (Latin root prioritas meaning “the most important thing”) entered the English language in the 14^th century. Priority. Singular. Took SIX CENTURIES for the word to achieve plurality because really, how can you have plural most important things?

So, if you know anything about me and my Many, you know I am useless for the rest of the day. FFS. How am I going to say what ONE THING is most important? What kind of person even does that? But it’s hard to argue with six centuries and the literal meaning of “most”.

So, I throw the whole idea away and go do laundry. You know shit has gotten bad when laundry is a better option.

But I have committed to writing about the experience so, I eventually sit down to do that. At that point I write

If you have been around me for any length of time, you know there are a few things I am passionate about – – I strive to be a decent person…

And there they are – My Big Rocks. The things that are important enough to me to destroy myself if I don’t give them the proper attention. And a light bulb goes off…it’s not about priority (singular or plural), it’s not about most, it’s not even about important.

Those things just are who I am. They are my big pieces. They are what make everything else in my life fit. They may shrink and expand to fill the available or needed space, but they are always there. I always need them, and they always need me.

So, THEN I head over to minihabits.com

Seriously, this is my life…