Craft Your Life, Your Way

The 80/20 principle teaches that there is an imbalance in nature; that only a few things really influence the majority of things.

Day 13 of the 28 Day Self-Growth Plan
The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less by Richard Koch

Jen Smith, the author of this guide and the creator of the debt freedom blog Saving with Spunk, went from not being able to stick to a budget longer than two weeks, to paying off $78,000 of debt in less than two years. How did she do this? Read up to find out how you can too!

Day 14 of the 28 Day Self-Growth Plan
The No-Spend Challenge Guide: How to Stop Spending Money Impulsively, Pay off Debt Fast, & Make Your Finances Fit Your Dreams by Jen Smith

I don’t know if this will be a trend, but it would appear that the end of this week (like the end of last week) is suitable for a twofer. So, I give you Day 13 and 14 in one post – but backwards.

Day 14 goes first because there’s nothing to say. Have a budget, don’t spend money like an idiot. Done. Next book.

Ok, seriously. If you have a problem with spending money, maybe this book will help. Try it if you want. I didn’t find anything about this one helpful because my problem with spending money has nothing to do with a budget, lack of thrifty ideas, or not understanding how basic money principles work. My vacillating ability to spend or not spend money comes from a multitude of other mental relationships that have almost nothing to do with money. Therefore, this type of “fix your money problem” book was never going to interest me.

So, there’s that.

And honestly, I don’t remember the 80/20 Principle being so, well, boring. In fact, I remember it quite fondly. Again, my experience with executive summaries is fairly limited so maybe this one just isn’t a great representation. But it was just meh – and I still recommend the book.

I will say that this particular summary instigated a thought connection that I don’t remember having the first time around.

I don’t even know how to piece all these different bits of information together. Hang on and let’s just see what happens.

So, the executive summary mentions the Pareto Principle. Originally noted by Italian economist Villfredo Pareto and then improved and developed over time, the Pareto Principle states that for many outcomes roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of the causes (the “vital few”).

Then it gets into leveraging time. I am all about leveraging time. And it occurred to me that everyone does that differently.

Case in point: I decided to hire a housekeeper almost two years ago. It has been one of the best decisions of my adult life. I am not a person who finds cleaning cathartic. Actually, I find it quite the opposite. I am, however, the kind of person who finds comfort in a certain level of order.

Ugh, Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” And those aren’t quite the right words.

I am not someone who requires high levels of cleanliness and order. However, my brain rests, my soul relaxes, and my creativity moves easier when there isn’t shit all over the place. I suppose that’s better. You’ll just have to make it up for yourself or ask if that doesn’t make any sense. I’ve decided much of this is just a hair above journaling – I am not gonna wear myself out with the edits.

Anyway, many of the reasons I waited so long to do this have nothing to do with me or money – they centered around what somebody else thought other people would think. I didn’t get that. I mean, housekeepers expect a certain level of mess – it’s literally what they do. They aren’t gonna go back and talk shit to other people about your messy house. And who cares if you hire a housekeeper?

So evidently, I was half right. Housekeepers do not give a shit about your messy house – it’s why they are there and as long as you aren’t a dick, the relationship blossoms into something beautiful. I literally worship both people who have worked in my home and they know if. They make my life infinitely better and I make sure to tell them that all the time.

And evidently some people do care. It’s weird to have folks who aren’t paying your bills or cleaning your house have such interesting opinions on how you accomplish that for yourself.

But people will always have opinions. I have them and I have to check them.

Case in point: Lady in one of my Facebook groups asks for everyone to share their morning routine. As you and I have already discussed, “routine” has a slightly different definition in my world. And I said so is a typical flippant way. “Coffee. All of it. Then *waves hands erratically* whatever comes next.” My tribe was there and we supported each other’s own brand of chaos.

Then there was the other.

5:30 Alarm
5:32 weight and potty
5:41 yoga
6:09 make organic kale Greek yogurt smoothie
6:15 journaling and gratitude
6:45 you get the picture

And her tribe was there, and they supported each other’s own brand of order.

And I rolled my eyes. I am not proud of that, but I am honest. And I thought about it. My eyes rolled because (more honesty), my knee jerk is people that say stuff like that are full of shit. Again, not proud, just telling you how the brain works. I get this full vision of some chick who hasn’t properly washed her hair in days because she is too busy trying to get her Instagram feed properly curated.

And that’s not fair. Moreover, it probably isn’t accurate. I tell people all the time, “If you knew the half of how chaotic my life actually is, you wouldn’t believe it.” And that’s true. So why can’t the other extreme be just as true? Just because I can’t fathom how that works doesn’t mean it doesn’t. And this nice woman doesn’t need or deserve my judgement. If I give her the same consideration I give myself, it is super easy to see – she has a life that works for her. She understands what it might look like to others, but she doesn’t care. She isn’t living for the “others.”

And that’s the only way to utilize the power of the 80/20 rule. It isn’t enough to understand it, believe in it’s realness, trust in the implications. You have to be willing to craft your life, your way. People say that kind of thing all the time without really digging into what that means on a personal level.

Living life on your terms, your way, without apology typically has a lot of people looking for an apology – or at the very least, an explanation – whether it is warranted or not. Be gentle with them and yourself. Everyone gets accustomed to a certain flow. When that flow is disrupted, people get a little agitated. It is to be expected. Check your judgements. Craft your life. Just keep swimming.

Oh. And coffee 😉