The Cold Dish (Walt Longmire #1) – Craig Johnson

August 5, 2021 by

“Sometimes I feel like I’ve been here a very long time.”

Lonnie Little Bird

Walt Longmire has been the sheriff of Absaroka County Wyoming for a long time and the best friend of Henry Standing Bear even longer. He is looking forward to his retirement and trying to figure out how to make his outspoken deputy Victoria Moretti, his successor. There may even be a romance on his horizon. Unfortunately, a dead body requires his attention.

When Cody Pritchard is found dead, the town is curious, but not sad. In fact the suspect list is pretty long. It doesn’t take long for Walt to realize that the murder is related to the rape case two years ago where Cody and three other boys were convicted of assaulting Melissa Real Bird.

When this series was recommended to me some years ago. I didn’t intend to stick with it. The description read like a western crime novel — not really my genre. However, it came highly recommended from a reader I trusted and the husband of one of my dearest friends.

I couldn’t be more thankful that I did. The characters are rich and full. The plot while not overly complex, gives just enough of a ride to be enjoyable. The story is well told and Henry Standing Bear is one of my favorite fictional characters to date.

But the real treat is the writing. Craig Johnson’s ability to be both rugged and poetic is a thrill to the senses. The tiptoe into philosophical without indulgence is beautiful. The off shoots of different actions around the central plot create a real feeling while adding depth to characters I have grown to love.

More than mystery. More than crime. More than a western. Longmire is a solid series for anyone looking to make some new fictional friends.

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Bitter is the New Black – Jen Lancaster

May 27, 2021 by
Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster (2006)

I love book clubs. There is something about surrounding yourself with folks who have the same passion as you – especially when the field is so broad (i.e. books) that you never ever run out of things to talk about and the opinions are never the same. 

The end of January, I found myself in the middle of a pretty heavy reading streak – Willa Cather (O Pioneer series), Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Americanah), Edith Wharton (The House of Mirth), Homer. I was ready for something funny, light, and easy.  

Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office by Jen Lancaster fit the bill perfectly. Recommended by two different people on the Peloton Moms Book Club page, I checked the title out where I always check out titles – Goodreads.  

I have found Goodreads to be one of the best resources for all thing book opinion related. It contains sufficient general book information (publication date, length, genre), great synopses, and reviews aplenty. I have to admit I have not given this site the attention it deserves. Changing that is a goal. If you are active there, let’s be friends https://www.goodreads.com/lionsbride 

From Goodreads: This is the story of how a haughty former sorority girl went from having a household income of almost a quarter-million dollars to being evicted from a ghetto apartment… It’s a modern Greek tragedy, as defined by Roger Dunkle in The Classical Origins of Western Culture: a story in which “the central character, called a tragic protagonist or hero, suffers some serious misfortune which is not accidental and therefore meaningless, but is significant in that the misfortune is logically connected.” 

In other words? The bitch had it coming. 

The bitch is Lancaster herself. I was in.  

There’s quite the divide between readers of this book. Lancaster is self reportedly obnoxious, rude, self-absorbed, petty, materialistic, and privileged. The messes that she gets into are nearly all directly related to her tone-deaf walk through her Prada life. There are readers who can’t stomach her for all these reasons.  

I am the other reader. I think it is because I am also a writer. As a writer, I can’t imagine the head voices Lancaster had to quiet to get so real about herself. She pulls no punches – even though the heavy bag is her own flawed self. She is raw, authentic, open, honest. And she does so without being overindulgent, whiny, or pitiful. She isn’t looking for a pass or sympathy – she is looking for honestly and connection. I respect the shit outta that.  

If you are looking to be pissed off at an overprivileged white lady, Lancaster makes it super easy to get what you want. However, I think you’d be missing the point. Lancaster (in an attempt to not give away the whole story) writes about her previous self with the advantage of her growing self. What results is a cheeky offering of her journey with an obvious understanding of how ridiculous her behavior was.  

I enjoyed reading the funny way in which Lancaster offered up the previous version of herself in such a way that showed both unconditional self-love and a desire to be a better person. There may be better goals, but, in my opinion, this one is pretty damn solid.  

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In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

May 20, 2021 by
In Cold Blood, Truman Capote (1966)

I have never seen the movie Capote. I suppose I should. Honestly, I had never heard of Truman Capote until the movie came out in 2005. Now my children are reading In Cold Blood as part of their high school curriculum. Perhaps the difference is the time. In the late 80’s, early 90’s when I went through high school myself, maybe enough time had not passed for the 1966 novel to be considered worthy. Perhaps that it failed to win the Pulitzer where it’s contemporary To Kill a Mockingbird did and, was required reading when I was in high school. 

(As an aside and interesting coincidence – I learned that Capote and Harper Lee were best friends. Moreover, Lee went to Holcomb with Capote to help him research the Cutter murders. But I get ahead of myself.)  

Anywho. Once In Cold Blood found its way on to my children’s high school reading list, it, as many of those titles do, found its way onto my TBR. YA is not my favorite genre. It is tough sometimes to get interested in what the kids are reading. Therefore, when their reading lists for their various English classes come out, I try to make sure I read those with them.  

In Cold Blood took me two children to get through.  

Three years ago the book popped on a reading list. Capote had been the subject of a movie. The book was a true crime story. The first kid to read it seemed fairly interested. I ordered my own copy, placed it in the spot of honor by the bubbles for the tub, poured a glass of wine, and sunk deep into the hot water.  

I made it through roughly 50 pages. I wouldn’t pick it back up again until this year when it ended up on another kid’s reading list. 

“Mom, you’ve read that one, right?” Yeah, no. I started it, but I just couldn’t get through it. I found the beginning boring. It was lyrically written, which I enjoy, but repetitive and indulgent. I found myself unsure about what to say; my kid had to read it and I did not want to be discouraging.  

But I did want to be honest. Now that I have a few college English classes under my belt, I have a different view on required reading, open response discussion, and academia in general. If my kid didn’t like the book, I wanted her to feel free to express that so she can move on to the more important point – being able to explain her opinion on the work. If she did, I wanted her to feel free to disagree with me – and again, move on to the more important point. 

“I started it, but honestly, I didn’t get through much of it.” 

“Really? I mean, I know you don’t like all that violence and stuff,” (she was there through the Hunger Games debacle) “but I didn’t think this one was all that bad.” 

“You’re right, I don’t. But it wasn’t that. I just found the beginning kind of boring.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I get that. I felt the same way. But it gets better. You should try again.” 

So, I tried again – eventually. Her class was finished with both the reading and the discussion by the time I got around to it. But whatever, I got around to it.  

Now I can say that I have read it, as much good as that does. I think it was worth the read, but I am confused why high school students are required to read it.  

Quick synopsis – The entire Cutter family is murdered. Their small town is shocked as that kind of thing never happens there and definitely not to such a good, prominent family. The murders are Richard “Dick” Hickock and Perry Smith. This is not a spoiler by the way; it is obvious from the very beginning as suspense is not an intended characteristic of the book. The book covers the crime, the investigation, and the trial with personal epithets filled in along the way.  

The book is billed as a nonfiction work. I think that is a stretch. While I am certain it is mostly true and have little to go on except how I felt reading it, I find it impossible to believe the insights expressed by Capote are knowable to him. I think the book is more accurately described as semi-nonfiction, or semi-fiction. Either way, I think the difference between the expectation and what I got altered the reading for me. Instead of being able to either enjoy the story on its writing merits, or enjoy the story based on its informative value, I was able to neither as I felt forced back and forth between the two.  

There are more sinister undertones that I won’t get into in case you haven’t read it, except to say this: It is weird reading a supposed nonfiction work written by an author who seems to be affecting the story along the way in order to facilitate the story he wants to write instead of writing the story that is.  

I understand that I am probably in the minority here. The book repeatedly receives high marks and glowing reviews. Honestly, I get it. Capote is a gifted writer and storyteller. This one just wasn’t for me. 

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The Wife Between Us – Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen

January 13, 2019 by
The Wife Between Us - Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen

I wasn’t really sure about The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen when I originally picked it out. I couldn’t figure out if it was chick lit or women’s fiction; the difference is important to me. Don’t misunderstand, I am not a snob about it. I enjoy both styles. However, I wasn’t in the mood for chick lit. I wanted something that didn’t require a highlighter, but had some teeth to it.

I also needed to clean my house. I didn’t have all day to figure this out. Because I am attempting to be a more focused reader and writer, I dusted off my Goodreads app and (after I reset the password I couldn’t remember and handled the barrage of notifications I hadn’t answered) peeked at the suggestions from one my neglected reading groups.

Each month, Bound Together has three category of books: one Member Choice title and two “find a title that fits.” In January, Beneath a Scarlet Sky was the Member Choice. As I am still trying to get through The Tattooist of Auschwitz, I passed. “Off the Shelf” was to read a work that had something magical about the story or cover. I was not feeling it. “Author Read” did not designate a particular author this month. Instead, it required that the book be written by two people – with both their names presented on the book. I scrolled through the comments and someone suggested The Wife Between Us. What the hell, I needed to get on with my day so I spent the Audible credit and moved on.

My. House. Is. So. Clean. Seriously, I organized the armoire, cleaned out the pantry, decluttered the office, caught up the laundry – all of it. For two days I found reasons not to sit down so I could justify leaving the book playing in my ear.

Vanessa and Richard are recently divorced. Nelly and Richard are getting married. Vanessa is having a hard time holding her new job and controlling her booze. Nelly is preparing to transition to a whole other life. Vanessa is completely preoccupied with the woman Richard has replaced her for. Nelly swears someone is following her. Aunt Charolette and Sam are side-eyeing the whole thing.

Two things. First, if you think you know what you are getting into based on that synopsis, you would be wrong. Second, I can’t really tell you anything else without spoilers.

This is probably the most fun I’ve had listening to a book in a while. There was constant tension between the characters and in my own head. The authors gave just enough so that I knew there was something else going on and, if I didn’t figure it out, they were going to get me. There were moments I thought I had it. I didn’t, and they did, in fact, get me with the “holy shit where did THAT come from.” Then the real neat thing happened – the story didn’t end. They. Just. Kept. Doing. It. Even in the Epilogue.

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Nine Perfect Strangers – Laine Moriarty

January 9, 2019 by

I absolutely adore Liane Moriarty. I first encountered her with What Alice Forgot. That one is still my favorite. It feels a little disloyal to Liane to write about this one first before I have taken the time to tell about all the other ones, but alas, here we are. There’s a character…I’m getting ahead of myself…

Nine Perfect Strangers started out slow for me. In fact, there was a point where I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it at all. I was wrong.

Liane’s approach to this story is slightly different than she has taken in the past. Her character development is super segmented in the beginning and finding the point to the story (and thus my interest in it) was difficult at first.

But then she does what she does best – just enough twist to rock your socks and just enough formula to be comfortable.

Some may see formula writing as a negative. I do not at all. I read for a number of different reasons, one of which is to be delighted. I am most often delighted when I encounter engaging characters in a familiar way with an interesting turn. Liane is one of my favorite go to writers when this is the read I am looking for.

Nine people from different points of life converge together for a 10 day wellness retreat hosted by former corporate diva Masha, and her direct help, Yao and Delilah. Liane does an excellent job of mixing up each characters’ real motivation and personality with subtle hints to the actual and swerves to catch you off guard later.

I suppose Frances should be my favorite character. She is a successful romance writer with a charmingly quirky personality. She reminds me a lot of me in a silly and shallow way and I enjoyed meeting her very much.

But she isn’t. The AT favorite character award goes to Tony. I adored him from the moment he is introduced, through his smiley face butt tattoos, all the way to the last page.

As is with most of her works, it’s hard to explain anything else about the book without ruining the adventure. She will deliver on the obvious and surprise you with left field.

As a complete side note to the review itself, a passage in Nine Perfect Strangers reminded me why it is imperative for writers to read and read often. It is no secret that I have had quite the time lately putting nouns and verbs together. It has been a painful process to get in the chair and write, much less find the ability to stay there. You can read more about that passage here.

In fairness, this is probably not intended to be the most profound message in the story. In fact, you’ll see so many other important ideas in the book, I am sure. However, on this particular day, in this particular reading, it was, hands down for me. There was no other close second. For that, I am immensely grateful and, flaws and all, give it five big gold stars.


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A Discussion on Book Reviews

January 8, 2019 by

I always intend to do better about reviewing, discussing, documenting, whatever, the books I read – then I obviously don’t. I am pretty sure it has a whole bunch to do with my lack of consistency in putting words on a page. I am pretty sure that comes from my lack of confidence in making nouns and verbs do what I want them to do when I want them to do it. Couple that with my lack of discipline in waiting to start another book before I write about the one I just finished. Next thing you know, I just refuse to do it at all.

Additionally, I read different books different ways. I enjoy audiobooks, e-readers, and paper. Typically the method depends on the book. Audiobooks are usually fiction or easier reads. I save the non-fiction or “those likely to need a highlighter” for my iPad or paper. I own many of my favorites in multiple formats. You would think that lends itself to easy, quality, book write ups.

Sometimes I just have to dig my thoughts deep to keep the critics in my head quiet

You would be forgetting that I am the quintessential over thinker.

Instead what happens is one of a few things…

With audiobooks, I am a staunch “unabridged version only” snob. This is a deep seated, personal prejudice born from my buy in on the format in its super early days when you still had to get the tapes (yes, the cassette kind). Back then (you will still hear it occasionally today, but I find it is pretty rare anymore), folks who utilized audiobooks weren’t considered actual readers. You were guffawed if you claimed to have “read” a book you “only,” in fact, “just listened” to. Therefore, I pledged to be an unabridged listener or bust.

But I never just sit down and listen to an audiobook. I am always doing something else – driving, cleaning, running. That is the beauty of the unabridged audiobook. I can read books I would NEVER have time to get to otherwise. The downside is obviously divided attention and no pencil (I love to read with a pencil). Maybe, on a super rare occasion, I will take the time to hit the “+ clip” button on my Audible app to mark a particular passage or section that strikes me as profound or compelling. However, qualifying those times as “super rare” is not an overstatement.

In a weird and self conscious way, that creates a distrust in myself whenever I sit down to write about an audiobook I just finished. “Weird” because it doesn’t slow me down one second when suggesting a book to a friend or discussing the work with someone that has also read it. It probably has something to do with the difference in words on the page and words on the air. I would guess this was the main argument of the “no you didn’t read it, you listened to it” crowd. There is a small bit of truth in that. I didn’t see the names, I don’t know how they were spelled. I didn’t see the layout of the words on the page, I had the inflection bias of the narrator. These things matter.

But I have decided they don’t matter enough to prevent the recording of my experience with them. They don’t change the fact that I encountered a piece of work and that encounter created perspective, emotion, and memory. They don’t matter enough to make me question the validity of my thoughts. Seems a bit heavy I know. It really isn’t. Sometimes I just have to dig my thoughts deep to keep the critics in my head quiet.

I get all up in my feelings over some arbitrary bullshit that, in the real world, doesn’t really mean anything. I have cost myself a lot of good days getting tied up like that.

Then there are books I pay a lot of attention to. There are a quite a few in my collection that have numerous passages underlined and notes in the margin. There are even a couple that have warranted their own notebook. These I have tried to write about and the work falls prey to my inconsistency or perceived expectations of “timely manner.” That timely manner shit gets me on the regular. Like if I haven’t accomplished a thing on a certain time schedule I have failed in some way. Then I get all up in my feelings over some arbitrary bullshit that, in the real world, doesn’t really mean anything. I have cost myself a lot of good days getting tied up like that.

To this, I have finally come to the place where I am comfortable with the idea that I write for free. There is no revenue generated here. I am not letting my family down with my inability to pay the bills. I am not being professionally irresponsible by ignoring deadlines. So if I write an installation of a reflection on a particular work and never come back to it again, whatever. There’s nothing to feel any kind of way about. That freedom is game changing.

The hardest are the books I didn’t particular like or the ones that were just okay. As a reader/writer I have dueling opinions. As a reader, I should be able to honestly discuss my thoughts in a constructive way. As a writer, I should have thick enough skin to expect that there are people who don’t like my style or story. As a reader, maybe the work was good and the failure was mine. As a writer, shouldn’t I have some sense of solidarity and support for my fellow writers because I know just how fucking hard this is.

Enter stage left two of the most valuable lessons I have learned in the past two years as it relates to words on a page: First, I don’t have to publicly publish everything I think. Second, everything I do publish doesn’t necessarily have to be rose colored, positive, clean, popular, tidy, polished, resolved, enjoyed, or profound.

I simply have to write.

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Information Sources – He Said / She Said (ep. 2)

January 25, 2018 by

My second question for the He Said / She Said was a tad harder than I though it would be. With all the wonders I have in my head on a regular basis, I just naturally assumed presenting topics would be easier. Turns out, it isn’t.

Come to find out, my wonders can get a bit overwhleming when I try to put them in a neat package idea with one concise and clear question. Becasue I am really attempting to be respectful of everyone’s time, I consider it to be a duty of sorts to present topics in that manner – clear and concise.

It doesn’t always work out that way. So I set out to find new ideas in my typical fashion – podcasts. And that got me to thinking, “How do other people get new information, expose themselves to new ideas, or stay informed?” The light bulb went off. I probably should ask the panel. Knowing where they get their information from is probably pretty insightful. It also lends itself pretty readily to asking you all how you stay informed and what that means to you in the first place.

Here are a few of the responses, and we would love to hear your thoughts as well.

How do you consider yourself “informed” or “exposed”?

I generally stay informed and available to new ideas by way of social media and the internet. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc, are my Sunday paper everyday in real time. I don’t watch the news. It’s too negative. Someone is always getting kidnapped or shot. And I haven’t had cable in 5 years.

My general boredom and cruising of the different platforms (which I have tried to limit because it can be toxic, duh right?) side effect is reading different headlines as to what’s happening in the world. But unlike traditional news outlets like CNN, FOX news, and such that swing heavily to the right or left, and could allegedly be fake news, (HAHA), allow me to form my own opinion. You can find many different posts about any topic on all the platforms, and decide for yourself as to what you feel is going on.

That’s one of the things that makes net neutrality a very interesting and scary topic. Especially when you consider that the decision for 324 million people is decided by 5 unelected officials. Just regular ass people from the FCC who went against 83% of those 324 million people. But I digress.

The other way i get into new ideas is podcasts. I tend to be in my truck a lot on long drives. Nothing eats up time like listening to podcasts. I’d say conservatively I listen to 5-7 hours of podcasts per day. I’m constantly bombarded with different perspective, which I then take and formulate my own thoughts. Or at least I try too.

I’ll leave with this thought, I heard it from Denzel Washington. I’m not sure where he got it from and I didn’t do the time to research it further. “If you don’t listen to the mainstream news your uninformed, if you listen to the mainstream news, your misinformed” Quite the quandary we are in as Americans these days. And I thought propaganda was a NO NO!!

 

Andrew

Actually, the way I get information and the way I’m exposed to “new ideas,” hasn’t changed at all because the world, in particular the USA, hasn’t changed that much at all. There is a saying that goes, “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready,” and the same holds true for information. If you stay informed, you don’t have to get informed.

I was blessed to have parents who always made sure we understood history..all of it. The problem is, too many people don’t seem to understand or even care about history, so many of the things that are happening now seem foreign to them. Couple this with the fact that too many people believe that the words “commentator” (opinion) and “journalist” (unbiased) are synonymous, and you end up with people who don’t know what to believe or worse, what THEY believe because they are ignorant to our history. So, they only seek out and listen to those commentators who regurgitate the same “truths” that they already believe.

People aren’t open to receiving new ideas because it’s more comfortable to hold onto their old ones, and that has nothing to do with social media, the internet or anything else. To anyone who knows and understands history, and who has been paying attention, nothing that is happening now should be surprising because we’re just repeating old patterns. Or, as my late grandmother used to say, “The years may change, but the days stay the same.”

GR

This has been difficult for me to find the words to address, simply because the question implies that being informed or exposed is a priority.

I have to admit that I made the conscious decision to disconnect from mainstream news outlets in order to practice intellectual self-defense for my own well-being some time ago. In doing so, I’ve drastically devalued the concept of being informed or exposed to high amounts of information.

Through the use of social media, where I like to interact with friends and family, I can see many topics that are on the forefront of discussion and debate from a sociological and political standpoint, so I am never too far from knowing what is in the latest headlines or what many popular topics are. However, I tend to seek information in areas of interest rather than open myself to whatever is chosen to be broadcast.

I am a firm believer in the importance of societies learning history in order to keep from repeating past mistakes (there’s a clever phrase for this that I can never remember with accuracy, but I’m sure you’re thinking of it), so I enjoy podcasts and documentaries that highlight historical events that are relevant to today’s political and sociological climate. I also like to connect with other people and families that I meet and discuss big, heavy, controversial topics in a personal, face-to-face setting when the time is appropriate. Through these discussions, I am opened up to different ways that people see the world, interpret what they see, and apply what they see and know to their own lives. I have found that personal relationships with others is a much more rewarding and fulfilling way to be “informed” with the outside world.

Barry

There was a time I was a news junkie. That coincided with my “eat politics for breakfast, lunch, and dinner” phase. That can to a screeching halt after I had the opportunity to be a state delegate at the Georgia State Republican Convention in 2008. There’s something about watching the process up close and personal that forces you to come to terms with the way things do and don’t work. But that is a topic for another day.

The important thing is that it was then I realized the way I gathered and processed information had to change if I was going to create a real life with real ideas and real impact. I stopped watching the news. I instead began to look for different ways to gather new ideas. The truth is I was so burnt out that I buried myself in novels for a while and absorbed the world of make believe that was fiction, but at least didn’t pretend to be real life.

Now, most of what I do is chase rabbits. I’ll find a particular meme or shared article on social media interesting, either for it’s content or lack thereof, and hunt it down to it’s origin. It is astounding how often the original post is so far off from the actual truth or intent. It emphasizes to me how lazy we have become in believing what other folks put in front of us as fact.

Podcasts have become invaluable. The wide variety of topics is seemingly endless. Moreover, the diversity of perspective is one I simply can’t get in everyday life. Different belief systems, background, socioeconomic demographics, cultures, ideologies, etc. are all represented and available with a touch of a button. In truth, these ideas vary in truth and reliability as the internet has become the wild west of information. However, Hearing the idea and listening to the dialogue has been invaluable at broadening the wonders I had and creating a forest of new ones.

 

April

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Intro Via Cereal – He Said She Said ep.1

December 28, 2017 by

A few weeks ago I encountered an article on a topic that isn’t typically discussed openly or in mixed company. The article invited about two dozen men to share their views on the topic. I found the whole article fascinating. I was able to look into the candid thoughts of a variety of men on a topic I would never discuss directly.

That gave me the idea for He Said / She Said.

I sent an email out to 7 people – 3 women 4 men. I asked them if they would care to participate, at their own discretion and in their own way, in discussing different topics. The topics will be all over the place:

  • who pays on a date
  • when does the Christmas tree go up
  • how many sexual partners is too many
  • Which candy bar is superior
  • is football too dangerous
  • gun control
  • favorite cereal
  • current events
  • If the title of the He Said / She Said is sexist because “He” is first

What follows is the first question and the reply. We hope you enjoy it and participate.

I know this question sounds ridiculous. But I promise it isn’t. If you answer it thoughtfully, it will be a great, non traditional, introduction of a little bit about who you are as a person before we tackle something a bit heavier.

What was your favorite cereal as a child? Is it the same now? Why or why not?

I was a weird kid. My favorite cereal when I was growing up was Life with Cheerios running a close second. I never really cared much for the sugary cereals as a kid. Occasionally a bowl of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries maybe but, for the most part, I was a Life and Cheerios kid.

As an adult I’d have to say Lucky Charms, hands-down. Then again, as an adult, cereal isn’t a breakfast food anymore. It’s more of an evening snack kind of food. I can’t remember the last time I ate cereal for breakfast.

Thom

In the pitch blackness of the early morning hours, I’d wake to sounds of Daddy getting ready for haul. Laying in bed, tucked under flannel sheets and handmade quilts and grannie squared afghans, I’d muster up the courage to slip out onto the cold floor. The hiss of the cast iron radiator would let me know the heat had been turned up. Quickly donning my pink terry robe and slippers from the Sears Roebuck catalog, I cracked open the door and scurried down to the kitchen.

Momma would be flying around, making coffee, packing his lunchbox, filling his thermoses with hot cocoa and soup. Two leftover meatloaf sandwiches and a whoopie pie would be neatly wrapped in waxed paper and tucked into the steel gray hinge topped box.

Daddy, larger than life…layered for the long day on the water in waffle weave long johns, wool socks, flannel shirt, a hideous hand knit gold and seafoam green sweater vest, and a pair of corduroys, would be prepping his cereal.

“Susie Q…what you doing up?”

I’d shrug.

Taking down a bowl from the cupboard, I’d retrieve the lone biscuit from the white paper which previously held three. Daddy would be ripping and tearing his two into his bowl. Daintily, I’d break mine into neat little uniform pieces.

“Honey, it’s all going to the same place.”

Sugar bowl in hand, he’d sprinkle some on mine, and tip the hand a little too heavy on his.

The milk poured, we sat together at the kitchen table, waiting for it to get just the right amount of soggy. With each sip, steam from his coffee would repeatedly fog up his glasses.

“Think we’ve got time for a quick game of cribbage?”

Beaming…”yes Daddy.”

A. Lynn

Favorite cereal:  Cheerios at first, and then Cap’N Crunch, who’s not even a real Captain, or Cap’N cause he doesn’t have enough stripes.  I think I read somewhere that he’s actually a commander. Hmm, Commander Crunch? Nah, not feeling it.  The fact that someone took the time to research a character on a cereal box is both funny and disturbing, as is the fact that I not only remembered that fact, but also shared it..with no shame.  Anyway, I don’t eat cereal now, and I haven’t eaten Cheerios or Cap’N Crunch since I was about 13. #TheThrillisGone.

GR

My favorite cereal as a child was Fruity Pebbles. After pouring the milk, I would patiently wait a couple of minutes for the cereal to become a blissfully wonderful mix of crunchy and soggy pebbles as I proceeded to devour them one heaping spoonful at a time. I enjoyed both the texture and the taste as I ate each bite. Also, after I had chased every last stray pebble down with my spoon and consumed every one of them, I was left with a sweet, fruity flavored milk that I would drink from the bowl.

At age 41, Fruity Pebbles remains my favorite cereal for all the same reasons. I guess, when it comes to food anyway, I don’t grow tired of the same flavors and textures. I still indulge, on occasion, in a box of Fruity Pebbles that I will share with my two sons (9 and 6 yo). They have their own favorites, but they also enjoy my favorite when I go rogue and stray from the healthier choices that I typically try to consume on a more regular basis.

Barry

You can refer to me as “Cornflake Girl”. In addition to being my answer to your first question, it’s also a great Fiona Apple song, so instead of obsessing over what pseudonym I should use, I’m Just gonna go with Cornflake Girl.

Favorite cereal as a child was probably cornflakes. Or maybe Chex or Crispix, whatever my mom had bought at the time that was even relatively “normal”. My mom was older, and had fed into the whole organic gardening hippie health food movement of the ‘70s, so most of what she bought more resembled yard rakings than anything that would have a cartoon mascot trying to sell it to children. She refused to buy anything that had a sugar glaze, or frosting, or marshmallows, or toys, etc. “You don’t need all that sugar!”  Little did she know that we went to the sugar cannister on the countertop, the one she used when she was baking, and spooned no less than 1/4 cup of sugar directly onto her “healthy” cereal. So her strategy backfired in that respect. I only got to illicitly taste the other cereals, what I considered the GOOD stuff, when I was at friends’ houses on sleepovers. Hopefully none of *their* parents were having a crisis of health conscience and only eating Raisin Bran or something.

I really don’t eat cereal at all now. Trying to do low carb was the initial motivation with that. Whenever I do have a carb lapse it tends to be later in the day. I’m all about eggs for breakfast now. Maybe oatmeal was my favorite before I switched away from carbs. Or the Chex. Chex is and always will be pretty damn awesome.

Cornflake Girl

Fruity Pebbles, hands down, has always been my favorite cereal. Lucky Charms is great, but it’s just too much damn work separating out the marshmallows. I think I saw somewhere that they made a box of just the marshmallows, but that feels gluttonous somehow and I just don’t think I can get past that to actual enjoy it. So it’s Fruity Pebbles.

We never got them much as a kid. Mom always bought the economical cereals. Every once in a while, that beautiful box would show up. It never lasted long. But I appreciated it. And though my little girl brain couldn’t have articulated it, I know that cereal became equated with appreciation for the special things.

I moved out of my parents home the summer before my senior year of high school. I always had Fruity Pebbles, even if I didn’t have much else. It was walking distance from my parents’ house. One more than one occasion I woke up to find one of my sisters, usually the youngest, in front of my TV with a bowl of her very own. I did a lot of the things that most 17 year old kids would do if they lived on their own. My sisters always kept my secrets and I never complained about them eating my cereal. Back then, bribery is what I would have associated that box with. Now, I am able to recall how great it felt seeing my kid sisters enjoying something I was able to do for them all on my own – and the bribery.

Today, I could eat Fruity Pebbles any time I want. I don’t. In fact, I rarely do. I am always afraid I’ll mess up the nostalgia of the thing. It sounds bizarre to have such a crux of conscience over cereal, but I am a woman of many wonders and this is one of them. I wonder if keeping the nostalgia is better than enjoying the cereal. I wonder if I will still think it tastes as good as the last time I ate it. I wonder if I am over wondering all of it. So, unless the kids pick it (which they rarely do), neither do I. But the box still makes me smile.

April

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Thanks For Making Me A Fighter

August 12, 2011 by

Revised and updated 9/2/18

Alrighty, so I already know I am going to regret using that title when I decide to post my Rocky Balboa “let me tell you something you already know” post or “The 10 ways I do and don’t want my kids to be like Christina Aguilera”. But, in my attempt to live more in the here and now, I am running with it – even if, while sincere, it is a bit overstated.

It has been an amazing week. It started with this little “damn I shouldn’t have eaten that pizza after midnight/Jerry Maguire” post {In My Own Skin}. It grew into a wonderfully supported and seemingly universally guided fireball of affirmation. I love it when you make decisions and it seems like the whole existence has been called down to confirm you choice. It doesn’t happen to me very often, so I enjoy it when I can.

I am going to the gym, working out, wearing sunscreen and getting serious about finances (for starters I quit buying smokes). This whole process, in the beginning is total love/hate. Also, it can be a bit overwhelming because there are tons of folks out there who are more than happy to tell you how they think you should handle your business. But I digress. Here are

Folks I Follow so I can be a Better Badass

@parentxperiment – One of my 2 favorite finds this week. So, I am getting ready for my first walk in forever. Really looking for a great time and I plan on being gone for awhile. I really don’t want any boom-shocka-locka music or learning the power of our inner beauty and connecting with our soul glow session. So, I peruse the podcast and come across The Parent Experiment. Hosted by Lynette Carolla (wife of Adam Carolla) and Stefanie Wilder Taylor (not the wife of James Taylor), these ladies and their guests talk about being mommies. No, seriously, they talk about BEING mommies. This isn’t fluff net, suitable for the whole family, I’ll bet my preschool resume is cooler than your preschool resume kind of show. I love it, it rocks and I am a fan. They made 11 1/2 miles in two days seem like a walk to the mailbox.

@100daysrealfood – The other of my 2 favorite finds this week (hat tip to Rocky). Lisa Leake  is a North Carolina wife and mommy of two of the prettiest little girls. She is waging war (and winning) against processed food. Yeah, so there are a bunch of folks like this, I know. But I like Lisa. She has the heart of a teacher – rarely do I find her waving a billy club to beat her readers in the head. She gets the kid thing. She gets the budget thing. She gets the balance thing. She gets a whole lotta crap. And she is only a little snarky, no matter what anyone else says about her.

@couponmom – OK, so I almost didn’t post this one because I don’t think it is an actual manned twitter account. GASP!! I know. But, when I thought about its usefulness in what it is, I figured, what the hell, it’s my blog and I will post it if I want to. This twitter stream is full of updates on some of the best deals and discounts.  Drug stores, groceries, clothing – you name it – if there is a deal, it flutters through, click, bang done. I could really get into this saving money business (did I mention I am in real estate :/) (*This is no longer that account so the link has been removed)

@geekend – one of the coolest things to ever happen to Savannah. Our Creative Coast has outdone themselves this time. While the actual Geekend isn’t until November (October if you are going in Boston), this twitter feed will give you plenty of geek to bridge the gap. Those freaking copper magnets kept my eyeballs glued to the screen – and I can’t figure out why. If you ever need a forward, cutting edge thought, or need some inspiration for your own blow out ideas, this twitter stream is rich with opportunity.

@SavCraftBrew – The whole reason Geekend is only one of the coolest things in Savannah. The Savannah Craft Brewfest makes me want to quit my day job, develop a master line of micro brews and force the Savannah Area Convention and Visitors Bureau to let me be Coastal Brew Diva. I am really embracing this healthier, wholer life – but, you are gonna pry my beer from my cold dead hands. The smokes, you can have – you ain’t gettin’ my beer. Maybe I will save enough money on coupon mom to make the tickets to the BrewFest free…and I am pretty sure I will have worked out enough to afford a teeny weekend of calories. Pop a cold one, I’ve earned it!

@brandipearl – When this chick and I met, we didn’t know each other at all. It didn’t matter. Brandi is such an open, warm, sincere, person, making friends is easy – especially if you are in line for the bar at a kick ass ReTechSouth party.  Brandi is my kind of people. She is, well, Brandi. Oh and she is also the Brains in @MauraNeill’s zombie Apocalypse team. Which is good for Maura. Brandi will do well in the “make you laugh,” “hold down the fort,” and “the kick zombie ass” departments. I’d take her to the CraftBrew Fest.

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Sometimes You Just Gotta Put It Out There

August 5, 2011 by

So it has been a week. And when I say that, I do not mean it has been amazingly wonderful or graphically horrible. I take either one better than I can handle both – which is pretty much what this week has been. Kingda Ka ain’t got nothing on my week.

There was wonderful family time and a tragic death of a beautiful woman. My grandma called to tell me I was “spectacular” after reading my article in the local newspaper. Someone else thinks I suck for the same article. There were professional wins and losses. I had an exhaustive day getting the kids ready for school then got the four out the door the following morning – the oldest a high school freshman, the baby beginning pre-k. I am feeling a bit emotional.

I am searching deep for my inner snark, who is usually always available and on call. Smart assed humor always helps to calm the fear of releasing my inner cheese and writing the next reject show for Lifetime.

Not really feeling it. So instead, I have decided to pare down the number of Follow Fridays today, embrace the cheddar, and hope somebody has a big box of Ritz.

You make me want to be better

@PhxREguy: When I got out of the Navy and started my real estate career, I was no fish and couldn’t spell pond. It was absolute hell trying to figure out my way, my style, my money after the startling realization that real estate does not have auto payday on the 1st and the 15th with additional benefits for sick kids.

I started blogging because writing was the one thing I could do myself without having to pay anybody. Blogging wasn’t huge yet, but it was well on its way – there were already some emerging cool kids.

Jay and I, through ways I can’t remember now, crossed paths. For whatever reason, he invited me under his wing, into his circle and offered what he knew. I had nothing to offer and still cannot repay the kindness. But he is still offering that support and friendship nearly 6 years later. That kind of heart makes me want to be a better person.

@headmutha: I have never had any problem telling the world just how I feel about the Turner family. But my fascination with Rocky has always felt stalkerish. Don’t look at me like that – if you don’t know at least one real person who makes you goofy star struck, you need cooler people to know.

I realized that I feel that way because I always focus on the cool stuff Rocky does – not the person I think she is. I feel like I know her – I realize I might be all wrong and wish I knew her better. But, I am pretty good at this kind of thing (makes up for the fact that I can’t sing), so I am just gonna put it out there.

Rocky makes it easier for me to be comfortable with the crazy, twisted, wonderful scary thing that is my own skin. She seems eclectic, smart, beautiful, confident and strong. That by itself would be intimidating as hell – it’s like an airbrushed super model. And there are few things about airbrushed I can relate to.

But airbrushed she is not. She has shown herself to have fears, hurts, and questions just like, well, me. And she has demonstrated that fear, overwhelming moments, and general real life stuff is not what defines her – it is how she reacts to those things that are important.

In this display I find a renewed understanding in the idea that I am not flawed or broken – I am beautifully woman. I get back to wanting to be a better person.

@TheRealClint: I wish I could tell you that I know Clint and his family. I wish I could tell you that we connected and have communicated online for years and I am proud to now introduce you to him. I wish I could tell you all the quirky things about him that real friends know. I don’t, we haven’t, and I can’t.

Clint is currently kicking cancer’s ass. Through this epic display of strength and family unity, Clint’s friends have rallied around him. We have some of the same friends and the battle cry could not go unnoticed. What I found was inspiring.

Clint is a real guy, with a real wife, with real children with a real life or death situation. I can’t even begin to imagine. And what you will find about Clint is he is a positive, strong individual – but he ain’t no show off. He hurts and, while he doesn’t wallow, he appreciates the support. He is proud, but no so prideful that he doesn’t know when to reach out. He is strong, but he is quick to give credit to his wife, children and friends for shoring him up . He is challenged, but he refuses to be overrun.

I watch this example from a distance. I watch as instead of focusing on himself, he is quick to return that support to others that need it. I watch as he takes a completely suck situation and turns it into something that is enriching the lives of so many. I watch as what would shatter many has emboldened and solidified. Who am I when I whine about the chores, the job or the weather? I watch the love displayed from and around Clint and I want to be a better person.

I appreciate the three of you very much. Just felt like there was no better time than now to tell you. Hope everyone else will excuse the sap. I won’t apologize for it, but I understand it ain’t always comfortable. I promise I will return to the regularly scheduled program in a bit.

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