It all Started with a Trip to the Chinese Buffett

April 30, 2012 by

On this beautiful Monday morning, I am confident the weather will be glorious and I can smell the coffee percolating in the kitchen. I am reflecting on a wonderful weekend full of rest, relaxation, productivity, family time, and a long run that I truly enjoyed. The house is relatively clean and the laundry is not exploding into the hallway. Life is a beautiful thing.

~~~~~~~

On this Monday morning from hell, I roll out of bed and realize I am already 30 minutes behind schedule (probably because I set unrealistic goals to begin with). I forgot to put the coffee on last night and now have to wait until it brews. There are dishes in the sink and dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. And I have gained 7 pounds over the weekend! This is just like a Monday and I should just go back to bed.

Woo hoo y’all! Look at me! My Sybil is showing! I am, in fact, currently experiencing both mornings at the same time. Perception is a doll baby, ain’t she?

In all honesty, I believe most of us have these types of moments far more often than we think. Unfortunately, I often think that it is some weird psycho-warped chick thing and just ignore it. At it’s worse, in order to ignore it, I take the path of least resistance (yep, that’s the second one). The problem with that action is this – while it is way easier and takes far less energy to get pissed off and depressed, it consumes far more energy over time than maintaining a positive perceptive. In other words, you may jump off the line quicker, but you likely won’t finish well.

You have probably noticed that none of this has anything to do with a Chinese buffet. Well…that’s because it doesn’t. I usually write real-time and have no idea where I am going until I get there and…this is quickly becoming yet another post, so I will get back to the Chinese buffet and hopeful remember to come back and elaborate on this other topic later – or not, pretty sure the world won’t end either way…well, not because of that.

As many of you know, I have recently began to look at my health in a new and proactive way. I took up running and I got fit. I went back to the weights and I got strong. I changed the way I ate and I got slim. I went to the Chinese buffet on Friday and I felt guilty.

Yep, guilty. I almost never eat red meat, pork, or fowl. I am whole foods mostly (while not necessarily raw). I juice. I hydrate. I seriously limit processed foods and carbonated beverages. I exercise maybe 4 or 5 times a week – and I am talking ugly faced, sweat making, not going to be cute running into the grocery store afterwards exercise.

Then the husband took me to lunch, on a weekday, with no children…I love those. And I enjoyed it and the Chinese buffet. Then I spent all day Saturday with the three youngest children. We did yoga in the park. Morgan “dreams of Waffle House.” The others would be good and keep their rooms clean forever if I would just get them fro-yo. We did both. My mother invited us for dinner. And it was wonderful (and I am not just talking about the food). Sunday was gorgeous and Mark was dying to grill. We had chicken and fresh corn on the cob. I said I almost never eat chicken. And who grills without a beer?

What part of that doesn’t sound wonderful? The 7 pounds part. And if I am honest with myself, the average weight fluctuates a pretty good bit depending on water retention, time of the day, etc. And if I am really honest with myself, I pay too much attention to that damn scale anyway!

The moral of story is ~

Yes, I cannot eat 25 pounds of food at a Chinese buffet everyday. I cannot have both Lovin’ Spoons and 32 Degrees in the same weekend, every weekend and call it a “consumer comparison.” Waffle House is a treat, not a staple.

No, there is nothing to feel guilty about. Being hard on ourselves for things that are relatively insignificant is worse for our health that the actual thing. Being good to our bodies includes the occasional indulgence. But the whole purpose of an indulgence is to enjoy it! A jacked up perception sabotages that. And I am not interested in self sabotage.

It is a glorious Monday 🙂

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With:

2012 Manifesto – Because I Like the Word “Manifesto”

December 13, 2011 by

It has been an interesting year…looking back on 2011 as it comes to a close, it seems while one might say “business as usual” there are actually some fairly interesting movements.

Typically, I start each new year with an anthem of sorts…and honestly, I can’t remember what this year’s was. I suppose I could go back and look at some of the places I would have recorded it. But frankly, if I can’t remember, that says something about its importance.

Knocking on the door of 2012, I know there are things that have to change. They have to change because I have changed. I am known for a pretty thick skin. It has worn a bit thin. While I am more comfortable in it, I feel through it a bit differently. Situations that I could view or pass through unscathed now move me in ways that are distracting. My eyes well on a regular basis. My heart hurts. I feel sadness. It isn’t that I myself am sad, or my own circumstances cause pain, but the empathy for those around me.

I witnessed a great deal of pain, sickness, hurt, death, and despair this year. I also experienced great joy, love, creation, and happiness. I doubt there were more occurrences – I am simply more susceptible to its effects.

Things that used to seem interesting or even slightly important now seem pivotal and game changing…

Even as I write this, I realize I am not saying all the things I want to say. It is becoming clear that this movement will develop itself…continue to develop itself…as I grow and learn with it.

I know that I am not all that I could be. I also know that it is not because I fail – but because I have so much potential, I have great room for expansion! I know I make mistakes, I realize that I am not perfect. I understand that if I were to run for a public office, it would be interesting. But I also know that I am a fabulous person. I am not scarred by failure and missteps. I am enriched by experience and journeys.

This year I became a runner. It has had a marked effect on me as a person. It has strengthened nearly every aspect of my person, created some beautiful friendships, and has become a core characteristic of who I am. The combination of time alone, exercise to the body, and a great illustration of my personal fortitude have created a deeper understanding of all that I am capable of.

This year I have owned my profession. For the first time I refuse to accept second best in any aspect of my professional life. I have gone back to school. I have forged new relationships. I have clarified roles, positions, expectations. I accept full responsibility for things that are mine. I do not martyr myself for others who refuse to do the same. I appreciate that there will always be critics and people who have nothing better to do than to try to drag down others. They can do that by themselves – I am not playing that game anymore.

This year I have learned that meanness is a major contributor of all things ugly in the world. Its root is fear. Fear makes for dark places. I am learning to place more emphasis on compassion than right, grace than win, comfort than conversion. I have learned that people are defensive, not because they are created that way, but because they are conditioned to proverbial face slaps whenever a weakness or a fault shows through the façade. So we fake. And we puff out our chests and berate others over the one thing we have gotten right so that maybe no one will notice all the other things we have yet to figure out. Because we can’t be weak…we can’t be wrong…we can’t fail…yeah, I am calling bullshit on all of that. A little harsh in the language category? Maybe, but I am thinking I am going to get pretty darn militant about compassion, grace, and comfort.

This year my family is nearing the conclusion of the journey that will bring us fully into the Catholic faith. It has done more to strengthen our resolve as a family and increase our compassion to humanity in general than I can begin to explain to you. Is this an evangelical mission? Not unless you want it to be…otherwise, it is simply me sharing with you another moment in my year. Interesting that I even feel I have to qualify that…something I will need to chew on…at any rate, this journey is becoming more evident in nearly everything I do. I was nervous about that for a minute. I am not so much anymore.

I am excited about 2012. I am looking for wondrous happenings. I am as prepared as one can be for more heartbreak…because I am committed to loving and serving more fully. In that position, heartbreak just happens – I am working on no longer judging that as good or bad…it just is…and hurting for others is proof of the love for others. Compassion moves with people where they are…and sometimes those places are painful.

But I am committed to the rainbows and unicorns. I am committed to smiles and hugs. I am completely sold out to motivational posters and talking in bumper sticker…because, quite frankly, I am thinking that a happy dork is going to be more productive as a human than a hateful suave.

Photo credit to Planet Breathe

Filed Under: Chrysalis Tagged With: ,

Hallelujah is Our Song

November 15, 2011 by

Do not abandon yourselves to despair.
We are the Easter people
and hallelujah is our song.

~Blessed Pope John Paul II

Thanksgiving is next week. I have been blessed to be around a bunch of folks who are taking this time of the year to intentionally reflect and name those things for which they are thankful. It is a glorious season.

Interestingly, this time of year also magnifies difficulties. Financial struggles become more pronounced. Estrangements and distances between family and friends become more noticeable. Fears about tomorrow and angst over yesterday occupy more of our minds.

There has been quite a bit of suffering, illness, tragedy, and death lately. I don’t know if it the hurts are increasing, if they are hitting closer to home, or I am just noticing them more.

I don’t have many words today (you are shocked I know). But even the chick who turns around Tuesdays finds some Tuesdays more heavy than others. In fact, I almost skipped today. If I myself have no words, then what is there to put out?

I can embody those things I always try to instill in others.

Today I encourage you remember the Easter, participate in the Thanksgiving, and be glad in the Advent, the new beginning that we are each afforded with every single breath. We cannot help others heal the ills that hurt our hearts if we wallow in our own. We cannot offer comfort to those afflicted if we constantly require comforting ourselves. We cannot carry on the mission of those who have gone before us if we are plagued by grief. We are human and we hurt. We are blessed and we sing the hallelujah song. Sometimes we just have to do them at the same time.

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday Tagged With: , ,

Super Pissed at Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon Savannah 2011

November 7, 2011 by

Ok, so maybe I am not pissed at them…maybe I am super pissed at me.

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon in Savannah was this past weekend. However, it has been sold out since August. I didn’t even run my first under 10 minute mile until mid September. It wasn’t on my radar.

Ok, so maybe it was on my radar. I get lofty like that. I had a bunch of friends that were running it. Some were doing the full and lots were doing the half. I can do a half. 13.1? Sure, why not? I had already scored a 10 mile run (it was slow, but I finished). Yeah, too bad it’s sold out. Because I could so do that. Yeah.

Then came the day I logged an 11 mile run at a 9:43/mile average. That was cool. Then came the tweet from Bigbie (one of the best running buddies. Ever.) saying there were some spots that had opened up. As in not sold out. As in Cinderella can go to the ball. As in me. As in 13.1. In front of people…really, behind people.

Yeah, no. Quick brush off about registration fee and work and volunteerism…blah, blah, blah. End of subject.

I mean really, those things are a big deal. And who wants to run a race they have never even seen before, right? And really, isn’t it more responsible to not hurry these kinds of things and just make sure you are super prepared? Right?

Whatever. I chickened. Worse – I self sabotaged. I worked so hard to convince myself that this was a great decision that I had almost convinced myself I wasn’t really a runner. My run log last week was seriously lacking. Why? Because maybe I would never be prepared and maybe I started too late and maybe there are all those folks out there who really are runners and won’t that be embarrassing…

Now it was Saturday afternoon…Sunday…reports, stories, pictures are coming in. It was great, it was fun, it was wonderful. And none of them got handcuffed by the imposter police because they didn’t score a 6 minute pace.

And I missed it. Worse than missing it. I chose not to do it. I allowed my brain to jack up yet another wondrous capability that is mine.

So this morning I said screw it. I laced up my shoes and went for a run. Some where around mile 2 I felt better. Somewhere around mile 5 I thought about when I would turn around. Right around mile 6 I realized – I am going to run 13.1 today – because I can!

And that is exactly what I did. In under two hours.

I didn’t get a medal or a picture to post on facebook. But I did get a front row seat at life lesson reminder number…well, it’s a big one.

Forget fear. Forget brain jacks. Forget made up lies about inability and substandard fortitude.

Guess who will be there November 3, 2012 ready to eat 26.2 for breakfast. Until then, I have some new words to remember.

“Do it for fun…even if it is Monday.”

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: , , ,

Last Day, First Day

October 16, 2011 by

One of the coolest sayings ever is, I think, a Chinese Proverb or an African Proverb, or who knows – but it is cool.

“The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

This is my last day. I usually wait until New Years. But why wait.

I usually do it with a bit more silence. Why? Because this isn’t the first time I have had to do it. I have to remind myself over and over again how easy it is to slip into bad habits. And again, I have to do a hard reboot and, with intention, and in the words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard

I will not sacrifice the Enterprise. We’ve made too many compromises already; too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them pay for what they’ve done.

And when I say “enterprise” I mean myself.

And we all know about compromises and retreats. Ok, well it has become obvious that not ALL of us will admit to knowing about them. But I do. And most people do. And it builds compassion and empathy.

Invade – Assimilate – fall back. How many times have I given into negativity, anger, frustration based on the ugly behavior of other people? How often do I berate myself for allowing the voice in my head to drag me down when it is in fact the voices of other people around me talking garbage into space? How often would I say, “Hey, you dropped that trash on the ground,” but fail ever to point out the pollution being given sound and hurled into space?

Has it become so acceptable to bash beliefs, thoughts, ideas, people because they are not as cool as we think they should be. Sure our ideas differ. Sure we find wrong things that others find right. Sure there are moral and ideological foundations of which we will never agree. But does that lead to condescension, hate, and plain ugly? No more, not here, not today.

I may never lose my snark. But I am deep sixing the negative – again. No more can’t, won’t, frustrated, sorry when it ain’t my fault, tired when I should be excited, sedentary when I should be on fire, confined when I should be busting.

Today I encourage you to plant your tree – literally or proverbially. This is Day One. Everyone is cultivating something. Everyone is growing a thing. I decide to grow something beautiful and purge the weeds. You are welcome to join me. I am who I am because it is who I am created to be – not because others around me have decided to trash the day. In the same respect, you are who you choose to be. Others can affect this choice only insomuch as we allow them to. There is energy and goodness – I plan on harnessing it all.

And for you nosey little ones

  • Yes I regularly see things online that piss me off
  • Yes I regularly see things online that encourage me
  • Yes I am addicted to Pinterest
  • Yes I finally saw the Green Lantern and decided to flex my will
  • Yes I will slip and violate my own dedication to no more ugly
  • Yes I may at times hide behind snark
  • Yes, I am trying to make “yes” my new favorite word.
Filed Under: Chrysalis Tagged With: ,

Grasping Reality Correctly

September 26, 2011 by

 

Prudence is the proficiency
of grasping reality correctly
and of deciding and acting accordingly:
both aspects are part of prudence
(the first is easily overlooked).
~ Christoph Schonborn

My 4 year old has a flair for the dramatic (understatement). She has picked up the habit of using clarifying statements to create apocalyptic outcomes. Take this actual, recent conversation for instance.

“Momma, can we have macaroni and cheese with dinner?” I reply, “No honey, I am making mashed potatoes.”
Her clarifying statement is, “You mean you are never going to feed me ever again!?”

Um, not what I said. At all.

Interestingly enough, we adults do this all the time, with the humor factor usually left wanting. A situation occurs and we immediately assume the worst in the intention, meaning and position of the involved party. Challenges arise and we find the failures, pitfalls and deal breakers that must obviously accompany the unforeseen hiccup.

The truth is that all situations depend heavily on perception and accurate assessment. And when I say “heavily”, I mean nearly exclusively. Think about road accidents in areas you were supposed to have been had it not been for a flat tire, busted shoe or sick child. Think of the chance encounter with an old friend that only happened because you had to divert off schedule because of a mistake, omission or plan change. I remember being able to stand with those around me and applaud a group of tired soldiers coming home from defending my freedom. I was only there because of a delayed flight.

Today, I encourage you to love them mashed potatoes – at least at first. Those moments in our lives deserve the benefit of the doubt. They deserve the opportunity to blossom into unforeseen blessing. Many times our missteps are not products of tough situations or mistakes. Instead they are the result of our inability to correctly judge the journey to begin with. Whether you curse the rain because your suit is getting ruined or you dance in the puddles, flowers are still going to bloom – it is up to us on if we enjoy the moment or overlook the beauty.

Thanks for the coffee,

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday

I was Sent to the Principal’s Office

August 25, 2011 by

Ok, so maybe I wasn’t sent to the principal’s office. But my Turtle was. In kindergarten. The Principal’s Office. For whacking a kid in the face with a book. Her little friend no less.

She doesn’t know why she did it – she just did. Little friend didn’t hit her first, say something mean, look cross-eyed, stick a tongue out – nothing to which I could defend this outburst of brutality. My sweet little Turtle just attacked without provocation.

I won’t lie, my first thought was, “Holy shit, they are going to think I am that kind of mother.” It was actually my first, third, ninth, twenty-second, thirty-eighth, this morning’s thought of the day…you get the idea. Of course I had other thoughts like, “What is the appropriate reaction,” “is the victim ok,” “what kind of trouble is Turtle in at school,” “are the girl’s parent mafia thugs who are gonna hunt my family down.”

Ok, so I didn’t think that last thing at all.

But I really was am concerned about the conversation happening at the little girl’s house.

I wrote a letter to the teacher explaining that we do not tolerate that type of behavior and please pass our feelings on to the offended family. I thought about it all night. I considered rewriting the letter to try to convey more remorse. I thought about it this morning. I am obviously thinking about it now.

I feel like I am the one who has been waiting outside the principal’s office. Waiting to be weighed and measured. Waiting to be found wanting. Waiting to be judged.

Seriously?!? I am a grown damn woman. Must investigate this dumbass response and figure out what has got my knickers twisted.

The truth is a good many parents feel over whelmed in this way. We are bombarded with media images of snotty ass kids and their over indulgent parents. God Bless I Am: A Flippy Doodle for really marching this point home with the timely post on bratty kids.

All over the place, parents are relentlessly forced to watch children behaving badly. And, bless their hearts, after we get cut screens of the parents, we realize it really isn’t their fault – Mom and Pops are crazy! We watch peas get thrown, heads get bashed, rooms destroyed, fits thrown, and all other manner of perfectly good reasons why I am certainly pro spanking. And all the time mom just rolls her eyes, dad acts like he doesn’t have a clue and kid gets exactly what they wanted in the first place – so they will do it again – instead of a big old dose of “I-am-the-Momma-punk.”

As a parent, I see flashes of my Turtle walking the streets of Jersey Shore talking about how she used to throw down all the way back in kindergarten. That’s right punk, she’s hard like that. Too bad her Momma didn’t raise her better. Probably didn’t pay any attention to her. Probably just hung out and blogged about it. It’s hard coming from a piece of crap family.

And I want nothing more than to shout at the top of lungs “I am not a bad momma and Turtle is not a bad kid! We just had an unfortunate minute!”

And why should I even feel that? Her daddy and I did talk to her. She is very sorry. She was put on punishment and she was even more sorry. She felt bad about it today and apologized to everybody.

I have long quit letting “other mommies” create the benchmarks by which I grade myself. I need to add the products of those “other mommies” to the list. Not gonna let over indulged children or their breeders put me in a funk.

P.S. Little Friend’s Mommy, we are really sorry. I hope she is feeling better. Turtle tells me they are really good friends and they have hugged and made up. I say that not because I want you to think good of me and my family, but because your child should not have to go through. Turtle was handled. I hope we get to meet soon.

**Photo credit to Eric Castro

Filed Under: Family, Parenting

Reclaiming Strength

August 16, 2011 by

Don’t judge your insides
by someone else’s outsides

~ Author Unknown
~ Laurie Davis gets the credit

I have no idea where today’s quote originated. Evidently, from my web search, no one else really does either. So, my girlfriend who reminded me of it gets the credit. Why? Because really, there isn’t anything new to be said – just awesome people who take the time out of their day to say it. I appreciate her and its my column.

I am feeling fantastic. I have made some serious schedule adjustments and (nearly) daily exercise is my new best friend. I have traded cigarettes for healthier eating. And (gasp!) I have even gotten my kids to agree to try whole food mac and cheese and apple sandwiches. And so far, it has been pretty easy. Know why? The folks I am surrounding myself with make it easy.

So often I allow myself to get thrown off track by the “gurus.” You know those folks. Whatever habit you are trying to kick or start, they are the expert. They never get it wrong and, quite frankly, us mortal beings are kinda useless if we don’t “get it.” The Internet is full of these folks – usually trying to get your money into their wallet. They berate, belittle, judge and condescend. It is a beautifully encouraging thing…really…hmmm sarcasm.

Luckily for me, I have finally learned how to steer clear of those information sources. The neat byproduct of that is I found some new really good ones. They are real folks with real lives and real flaws and real challenges and real success. Yes! You heard me right! We are not the only ones! And they take time out of their day to educate and encourage. I am the excited beneficiary of that encouragement.

I took that encouragement and applied them to “my things.” I had a desire to change some of my health habits. Is this everybody’s “thing.” Nope. And that is okay. This is not a “hey I am getting healthy now everybody needs to go get healthy” charge. The truth is I am still at the really early stages of this journey. I could crash and burn any moment. This is simply me sharing with you that support is good, encouragement is good and mean people do not have the corner market on great information.

Today I encourage you to embrace the idea that we are all not so different. While your thing is not always my thing, we all have them. I am over being told that I am somehow defective because my challenges are different from the ones someone else has. There are too many people in the world to sit at the feet of those who make you feel like crap. Let me be the one to tell you today that you are wonderful. I am wonderful. We are amazing! Cheesy much? Yeah maybe. But hey, if other folks can get away with tearing down, I can take a minute to build up. It is the least I can do after all the support I have gotten and continue to get. I am looking for ways to return the favor.

Thanks for the coffee,**Photo credit to Bobbi Miller-Moro

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday Tagged With: , ,

Thanks For Making Me A Fighter

August 12, 2011 by

Revised and updated 9/2/18

Alrighty, so I already know I am going to regret using that title when I decide to post my Rocky Balboa “let me tell you something you already know” post or “The 10 ways I do and don’t want my kids to be like Christina Aguilera”. But, in my attempt to live more in the here and now, I am running with it – even if, while sincere, it is a bit overstated.

It has been an amazing week. It started with this little “damn I shouldn’t have eaten that pizza after midnight/Jerry Maguire” post {In My Own Skin}. It grew into a wonderfully supported and seemingly universally guided fireball of affirmation. I love it when you make decisions and it seems like the whole existence has been called down to confirm you choice. It doesn’t happen to me very often, so I enjoy it when I can.

I am going to the gym, working out, wearing sunscreen and getting serious about finances (for starters I quit buying smokes). This whole process, in the beginning is total love/hate. Also, it can be a bit overwhelming because there are tons of folks out there who are more than happy to tell you how they think you should handle your business. But I digress. Here are

Folks I Follow so I can be a Better Badass

@parentxperiment – One of my 2 favorite finds this week. So, I am getting ready for my first walk in forever. Really looking for a great time and I plan on being gone for awhile. I really don’t want any boom-shocka-locka music or learning the power of our inner beauty and connecting with our soul glow session. So, I peruse the podcast and come across The Parent Experiment. Hosted by Lynette Carolla (wife of Adam Carolla) and Stefanie Wilder Taylor (not the wife of James Taylor), these ladies and their guests talk about being mommies. No, seriously, they talk about BEING mommies. This isn’t fluff net, suitable for the whole family, I’ll bet my preschool resume is cooler than your preschool resume kind of show. I love it, it rocks and I am a fan. They made 11 1/2 miles in two days seem like a walk to the mailbox.

@100daysrealfood – The other of my 2 favorite finds this week (hat tip to Rocky). Lisa Leake  is a North Carolina wife and mommy of two of the prettiest little girls. She is waging war (and winning) against processed food. Yeah, so there are a bunch of folks like this, I know. But I like Lisa. She has the heart of a teacher – rarely do I find her waving a billy club to beat her readers in the head. She gets the kid thing. She gets the budget thing. She gets the balance thing. She gets a whole lotta crap. And she is only a little snarky, no matter what anyone else says about her.

@couponmom – OK, so I almost didn’t post this one because I don’t think it is an actual manned twitter account. GASP!! I know. But, when I thought about its usefulness in what it is, I figured, what the hell, it’s my blog and I will post it if I want to. This twitter stream is full of updates on some of the best deals and discounts.  Drug stores, groceries, clothing – you name it – if there is a deal, it flutters through, click, bang done. I could really get into this saving money business (did I mention I am in real estate :/) (*This is no longer that account so the link has been removed)

@geekend – one of the coolest things to ever happen to Savannah. Our Creative Coast has outdone themselves this time. While the actual Geekend isn’t until November (October if you are going in Boston), this twitter feed will give you plenty of geek to bridge the gap. Those freaking copper magnets kept my eyeballs glued to the screen – and I can’t figure out why. If you ever need a forward, cutting edge thought, or need some inspiration for your own blow out ideas, this twitter stream is rich with opportunity.

@SavCraftBrew – The whole reason Geekend is only one of the coolest things in Savannah. The Savannah Craft Brewfest makes me want to quit my day job, develop a master line of micro brews and force the Savannah Area Convention and Visitors Bureau to let me be Coastal Brew Diva. I am really embracing this healthier, wholer life – but, you are gonna pry my beer from my cold dead hands. The smokes, you can have – you ain’t gettin’ my beer. Maybe I will save enough money on coupon mom to make the tickets to the BrewFest free…and I am pretty sure I will have worked out enough to afford a teeny weekend of calories. Pop a cold one, I’ve earned it!

@brandipearl – When this chick and I met, we didn’t know each other at all. It didn’t matter. Brandi is such an open, warm, sincere, person, making friends is easy – especially if you are in line for the bar at a kick ass ReTechSouth party.  Brandi is my kind of people. She is, well, Brandi. Oh and she is also the Brains in @MauraNeill’s zombie Apocalypse team. Which is good for Maura. Brandi will do well in the “make you laugh,” “hold down the fort,” and “the kick zombie ass” departments. I’d take her to the CraftBrew Fest.

Filed Under: Paraphernalia Tagged With: , , , ,

Creating Rich Places to Grow

August 9, 2011 by

In my skin, I am not a checklist.
I am a holistic being with more facets
than I even know about.
And light from one may create
a shadow on the other.
And just because our shadows are different
doesn’t make us less than the other.
~ Me

Alrighty Jack. There you go. He has been looking for one of these to start with a quote from yours truly and he’s got it – although I am of the opinion the large majority of it is nothing but my quotes. But, hey, I can compromise.

I have been writing this column for a pretty long time. I was asked yesterday if I had written this week’s yet. Nope, I hardly ever write it until it is time. I was asked where the ideas come from. Honestly, who knows. It kinda depends on what is going on at the time. The topics range all over the place often led by whatever wind is blowing through my own hair.

Sometimes it gets preachy. Other times it is a bit snarky. Some days I feel like a cheerleader – others, a warden. There are days when I am afraid to hit send. Wildly, more often than not, positive responses often show up tagged with, “It was like you were talking to me.”

I appreciate all of that, even when we don’t agree, I am thankful. But I want you know, I never intend to condescend – I am almost always talking to me. I feel, at the core, that most people are wonderful people with a few less than stellar challenges. I most certainly consider myself a part of that group – yes, both wonderful and challenged.

In truth, we are fairly eclectic beings. We all have our histories, influences, biases, desires, disgusts, causes, beliefs, priorities, vices, challenges. As we change and grow, we each seek to know and be known. The vulnerability in that is astounding and can intimidate the thickest of skins. Let that vulnerability be met with harsh judgement or condescension once or twice and a problem bigger than differences will start to arise.

Today, I encourage you to applaud all the different aspects of you, even those things that could use some work. Appreciate your different facets. Enjoy the eclectic nature of your likes and dislikes. Once we begin to appreciate these things in ourselves, we will be better capable of appreciating them in others. That type of support and genuine affection for others and from others is a powerful tool. Grow it. Wield it. Protect the goodness it is created from. It’s easy to stand aside, puff your chest and point accusing fingers. It is something else entirely to watch the goodness of a person unfurl because you created a rich place to grow.

Featured Image from The Wild Woman Sisterhood

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