That is NOT what I said

April 27, 2011 by

Life in the home has been complicated by this tank top >>>>>

Ok, maybe not this EXACT tank top…but I own one a lot like it.

Ok, maybe it isn’t just this tank top…

Maybe it is this innocent looking creature…

Do not let her fool you…her ways are not for the faint of heart. At 4, she is good, real good. I can only imagine where we are going to find ourselves

Example ~

Morgan: Momma, can we have macaroni and cheese for dinner?
Me: No baby, I am making mashed potatoes.
Morgan: (utter outburst of screams and tears) You mean you are never going to feed me ever again?!?!

Umm…not what I said…

Example ~

Me: Morgan, please take your thumb out of your mouth.
Morgan: But Momma, my body says I have to…
Me: Morgan, I know it is a hard habit to break, but you are gonna mess up your teeth.
Morgan: (another outburst as in previous example) You mean you are gonna knock my teeth out and cut my thumb off!?!

Ummm…no?

And finally (but not only) ~ The Tank Top ~

Daycare: April, I hate to bother you but Morgan says you have a shirt that upsets her. She is in tears.
Me: Really, I can’t imagine what that could be.
Daycare: Well, I don’t believe you own a shirt that says that.
Me: Says what?
Daycare: Well, Morgan says you own a shirt that says (wait for it….)
“I hate my daughter”

Ummm…no….again….thanks….

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: ,

Let Me Tell You Something You Already Know

October 5, 2010 by

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! .

Rocky Balboa, 2006

As many of you know, my real estate property management company has been the little engine that could for two years now. It has been wonderful and exciting to watch it grow and blossom. As you may also know, none are immune to the cycles of the economy, and my business took a serious blow last week.

The short of it is that good people have to do tough things to keep food on the table. Those outside forces literally cut 75% of my business. I had to give my assistant notice and offer half my building for rent. I am downsizing and realigning. It has been a challenge.

Why in the world am I telling you all this? First, we live in a small town and you are probably going to hear it anyway. But mostly, I understand that this is where the rubber meets the road. We talk a great deal about attitude, character and perseverance. Many think it is lip service from those who offer this advice. Most feel we are alone when the challenges arise. It isn’t and we aren’t.

I also wanted to tell you that there is no reason for fear. I could give you my theological reasons for that, but that is for a different column. Instead, I will tell you that most folks that encounter challenges are able bodied, smart, capable, and adaptable. I, you, will make it through this just like we did during our last life altering situation. I know, you are thinking, “But, it has never been this bad.” Isn’t that what we said the last time?

Interesting enough, this challenge has afforded some interesting opportunities. I have watched families rally, the birth of an entrepreneur, the rebirth of vision, and genuine intestinal fortitude. It is amazing the strength of the human spirit when you realize what it is worth and the vastness of its capabilities.

Today I encourage you to consider something you already know. Know what you are worth. Move forward and get what you are worth. If it were easy, everybody would do it. It’s not, but it is worth it, and moreover, it is possible. Life is. Challenges are. Struggles are. It cannot be overstated that it is what we do after that matters. There aren’t enough fingers to point, blame to place or pity parties to have that will change the effectiveness of good, old fashioned sleeve rolling. We can do this. I can do this. And oh the stories we will tell…

Filed Under: Chrysalis, Turn Around Tuesday

David vs. Goliath

March 17, 2010 by

I am currently reading Max Lucado’s Facing Your Giants. Let me go ahead and be on record saying it is a very uncomfortable read. I am constantly finding myself having to put the book down and make excuses to do something else. I can’t read it right now because I forgot what page I was on and it would simply take more time than I have to find my spot – you’re buying that, right?

This particular Lucado installment takes the story of David and Goliath and relates it to those things that makes you want to stay in the bed with your covers over your head. You know what they are. That thing that freezes you up, tightens your chest, stings your eyes. Those things that you have a hard time telling anybody about but are certain everybody – even strangers – know about you. These are obviously your “Goliaths.”

We are billed as David. Max walks us through the story of David and how we are probably more like him than we think. I am gathering this is a good thing. David is a man of many faults, but he is chosen. He messes up over and over again, but he is called “a man after God’s own heart.”

Sounds simple enough to maneuver through…yeah, if you have no giants staring you in the face. Unfortunately, I have them. I’ve named them Fred, Stanley…seriously, introspection into those things I perceive as weakness is not high on my feel good list.  In fact, the only reason I am writing this now is for personal accountability in moving through the process.

I am supposed to talk about the Goliaths I face. I am not ready to put that out here yet – I may never be…

I am supposed to talk about how majoring in God overcomes Goliath…still a bit personal at the moment…

So what can I talk about here? I can answer Max’s question

Is your list of blessings four times as long as your list of complaints? Is your mental file of hope four times as thick as your mental file of dread? Are you four times as likely to describe the strength of God as you are the demands of your day?

Sure I am – not. Oh yeah – publicly, I am putting forth the sunny face. I think it is important to be positive and uplifting. It is the way I want to feel. It is the person I want to be. My inner dialogue is something else entirely. Something tells me a good bit of us are that way.

So here and now, I am telling you that I am a blessed, hopeful, strengthened woman. I am thinking I need to set that up as an every five minute auto text to my phone…

Filed Under: Chrysalis Tagged With: ,

Today’s Superhero Cape

May 7, 2009 by

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”
– C. S. Lewis, author

One of the easiest things to do is to feel like a failure. Not good enough or smart enough or fast enough…the list goes on. Always watching other folks just to find more things I am lacking. How come I can’t pull that off or participate in that or be involved with that? Where is my superwoman cape?

Fortunately for me, I have the opportunity to discuss these thoughts with a couple a really smart women. During one such conversation, I had an epiphany. I am a wife, a business owner and the mother of four children under the age of 12. There’s my superwoman cape. This is the stage of my life I am in. These are the things that I concentrate on. Leaving the other stuff alone does not create failure – it demonstrates priorities.

In eight too short years, I will be the mother of 4 children between the ages of 10 and 20. That is a totally different place than where I am now. That stage of my life will have its own set of priorities, commitments and challenges. My superwoman cape will change, but it will still be mine.

Today I encourage you to appreciate your cape. At least for today – or the next five minutes – realize that you don’t do it like everybody else because you are unique. While your warrior cannot accomplish all things, the ability to accomplish all things meant for you is there in truckloads. You are perfectly positioned for your journey in this point. Run tomorrow’s race tomorrow. Enjoy today’s events now. It is the only thing you can truly wrap your arms around.

*Writer’s note 12/7/17 – The Publish Date is an estimate of time as actual date of original post is not known

 

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday Tagged With: ,

The Man in the Arena

October 14, 2008 by

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…who strives valiantly, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in worthy causes. Who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails, fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

– Theodore Roosevelt

I could hang out on this quote all day. There is more here than one TAT could possibly hold. Maybe I should start a TAT series, but who knows what next week will bring. Instead, let me hit my personal high points.

Actually in the arena – we have to show up. It is wonderful to talk about it. It is even better to spend some time in positive thought getting your mind right. But, at some point, we have to pull into the parking lot.

At best, knows the triumph of high achievement – reaching little goals is great. I remember after I had my first baby and I lost those 25 pounds. Very exciting. However, reaching triumphant goals blows that out of the water. After baby number 2, I lost 90 pounds! Go big and go confidently.

Fails while daring greatly – With great reward comes great risk. This is where paralyzing fear gets us. But, the magic in the moment comes from the greatness of possibility. Do not fear failure. It will only hold you back.

Today I encourage you to get into the arena, set that high goal and tell failure to take a flying leap. Know that your soul is not timid and is capable of all of those great things you have imagined for yourself. Dare greatly – your warrior can handle it!.

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday Tagged With: ,

Risk the Blossom

June 24, 2008 by

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

– Anais Nin (1903-1977)

I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit that I almost changed out today’s quote. Not that it isn’t wonderful, because it is most certainly that. But because it almost seemed too big. It felt almost too much. The words and thoughts just hang out sorta stuck in my throat.

Have you ever done that? Thought about walking away from something because it just seemed to big? Stood there staring in the face of one of the most amazing opportunities you have ever had and if you could breathe, it would all go a lot better? Talk about a gut check. In that moment you weight the odds of moving forward or bailing out. You decide which one you think you can more easily live.

Hopefully there always comes a point where you can’t help but burst forth into the person, into the place, that you want to be. When the knowledge of the potential refuses to take a back seat to fear and apprehension any longer. Hopefully, there always comes a time for the bud to blossom.

Today I want to encourage you to take a walk through your garden. Are the things that are important to you planted there? Have you let the weeds spring up? Is it all brussel sprouts and no wild flowers? Is the ground packed so tight that new seedlings can’t push through? Is today the day?

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday

She quit the club

January 14, 2008 by

My Savannah came home from first grade last week and was not in a good mood.

“She quit the club.”

You see, my Savannah has created the “Best Friends Club.” It is a special thing to her. She would like everyone to be in it and is trying to rope her daddy into building the clubhouse in our backyard. We will see how that goes.

After some discussion, the bones of the story is that my daughter’s club is in turmoil. It seems to have a revolving door retention problem. While most of the club seems happy to play tag and collect rocks, there is a fringe group. One little girl left because another little girl left because the wrong nickname was being used. Another left because the clubhouse wasn’t ready yet. This latest episode involved a debate over club ownership.

It struck me how representative this is of adults. I belong to a few organizations and they are wonderful! However, I am sure we have all seen “the fringe.” These are those folks who are going to find the negative like they have “poo poo radar.” Then, instead of working to resolve the problem, they leave. Or worse, they stay and try to make life miserable for those around them. I am not going to spend anymore time talking about the characteristics of these folks or why they are the way they are. I learned a long time ago (ok – maybe not that long ago) that I can only control my thoughts and actions.

That’s when I realize (again) the brilliance of my daughter.

“Honey, if she doesn’t like that nickname, you really shouldn’t use it. That would upset me too.”

She already knew this. After the little girl had quit the club, Savannah went to her and found out why. She then apologized for hurting her feelings and said she wouldn’t do it anymore. Both her and the girl that left with her are back.

She also went to the girl about the clubhouse. They decided that since they couldn’t build the clubhouse themselves and since they already had the playground, that was good enough for now. She’s back in the club too.

The little girl who wanted club ownership got her way. Now, while I am not crazy about this (previously it was an all for one ownership), I think Savannah’s thoughts were, “Who cares who owns it as long as everybody is in it?” For a six year old, I think I will leave this one alone for now.

Communication is a wonderful thing. When we genuinely care about what others think, how they feel and what they want, we can accomplish a sense of unity and collaboration that would have been unattainable before. Amazing things happen when move away from placing blame and move towards making progress. I’ll admit I was proud to watch my six year old navigate through situations that make many adults stumble. Maybe there is a learned trait there that is special to adults. If so, I hope she never learns it.

*Photo credit to Sue RB

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: ,

The Big Eastern Syndicate

December 4, 2007 by

“Look, Charlie, let’s face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.” -Lucy, A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

A Charlie Brown Christmas is my all time favorite Christmas show. It was on TV last night and I thought, “What a better way to celebrate this season than to have a quote a week from this great holiday cartoon?”

To start things off, we have gem from Lucy Van Pelt. The darling know it all characteristically had big ideas and a ton of misinformation. However, she came dangerously close to hitting the nail on the head with this one.

Christmas tends to be beautifully flashy, bright, colorful, and wondrous. It is a wonderful time to participate in and enjoy. Don’t miss that last part – enjoy. All the flashy in the world won’t feel good if it rides in on the back of stress and unrest.

There’s a great thing about this time of year – and any other time of year. We have a choice in how to run our lives. We can choose to remember why we enjoy this time of year, look forward to our personal traditions and celebrations, and forgo the massive stress factor.

Let’s start off December by remembering that we don’t need to participate more than we want in that “big eastern syndicate.” If that holiday frenzy it the part of the holiday that you look forward to, then, by all means, enjoy! But if it’s not, then let’s support each other in remembering what it is we do like, focus on the characteristics that do bring us joy, and spend our time doing those things that make this a memorable time of the year.

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday

Going into the Coffee Shop for Hillary Clinton

November 28, 2007 by

Coffee CupWhen I first started blogging, I understood the difficulties in “in the box” communication. With online talks and discussions you have a few characteristics that make some conversation difficult different.

There is no body language, no tone of voice, no real time response. A person can read one post and not get the whole story or know me as a person and get the wrong idea. The ability to be anonymous emboldens some folks to say things they wouldn’t normally say.

So, in the beginning, I decided that there were two kinds of topics – blog topics and coffee shop topics. Some topics were fairly safe to talk about on the web while still being interesting. Others could be too easily misconstrued and would therefore be held for times when I could get together with a real person, face to face.

However, I have since realized that there is a wealth of opinionated and knowledgeable ideas out there with folks I know and trust. So, it is time to go into the coffee shop.

I will be honest, I am treading these waters very carefully. This is meant for great discussion. I may have a little or a lot to say. We will have to see.

The fact that I am a conservative should not be a surprise to anyone – but if you didn’t know, I am outing myself now. I haven’t picked my nominee yet because I like a few of them for different reasons. Immigration policy, Iraqi plans, tax reform, sanctity of life…those kinds of reasons.

So, now on to my question…

I am honestly looking for a Hillary fan to discuss why she is a good choice. I haven’t heard one person tell me anything other than it’s time for a change, she’s a woman, or she’s been there before.

  • Change for the sake of change is not a good idea. It is desperate and not the way to run a country.
  • Yea Girl Power – but electing a woman just because she is a woman is bad for the same reason as change. Get a woman in there that blows it and it will be because she is a woman. May not be true, but that’s how it will play out.
  • I agree with Obama on one point – talking with your husband about his job does not necessarily make you qualified to do his job

I am looking for issues, track record – something I can wrap my mind around. As of right now, the her current success in her bid for the nomination seems ridiculously shallow.

Filed Under: Political Theory

Gratitude and Generosity

November 27, 2007 by

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Sir Winston Churchill, (1874-1965)

I hope everybody has had all the good food one can handle. Here’s also hoping the leftovers are just as good in your house as they are in mine. My mom still cooks the majority of our holiday meals. Those leftovers are wonderful.

We always have leftovers because Mom cooks for two armies – the one we know is coming and the one that might. Lucky for her, she has two refrigerators and a deep freezer. But we don’t usually have that many leftovers, being from the South and all.

I say from the South because I don’t know how they do it in the rest of the country. But down here, everybody goes home with a plate – either for yourself or somebody you know that couldn’t make it. Many times it’s both.

The end of Thanksgiving traditionally marks the beginning of Christmas. A season of gratitude followed by a season of generosity – what a wonderful tandem. I hadn’t thought of it until recently, but what better symbol of this time of year than the giving of leftovers.

The Christmas season can be chocked full of anxiety – business, personal, physical, financial, emotional – everything seems to be happening faster with a great urgency and significance.

Today I want to encourage you to remember that generosity provides the best stress reliever if we remember its true characteristics. It expects nothing, it can cost nothing, it can be just a little something, it can be a huge thing, and it is always born in your heart.

Filed Under: Turn Around Tuesday Tagged With: , ,