“I don’t fear failure. I only fear the slowing up of the engine inside of me which is saying, “Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?” “- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

I am not crazy about failure. I am betting most of us aren’t. However, it has been my observation, at least with myself, that the fear of failure nearly always creates failure. However, the motivation to keep moving forward with a positive frame of mind will more likely bring about success. Interesting…

I had never heard of the movie Whale Rider until this week. As luck would have it, it was also playing on one of the movie channels. My husband and I watched as a little girl experienced both the love of a family and the ridicule of an ideology. She was sad, confused and hurt. Once, she almost gave up and left. Sometimes she cried and tried to understand the reasons. The entire time she held firm to who she was and the knowledge that she had a purpose only she could fulfill.

I remember turning to my husband and saying, “Can you imagine having that kind of inner strength?” I remember it because the thought has been lurking around since I said it. Why “imagine”? Why does the idea seem so lofty? Am I really so bent on approval that seeing that type of inner fortitude stuns me? Interesting…

Today I want to encourage you (and me) to take a quiet minute and consider your inner warrior. Remember that you are a powerful individual with the desire to move forward. You know who you are and what you are capable of – and if you don’t, I encourage you to commit to discovering those answers. Something tells me that type of strength, while amazing, is not out of reach.

It takes no more time
to see the good side of life
than to see the bad.~Jimmy Buffett
Tales from Margaritaville

I am a glass half full kinda girl. In fact, I am a “Woohoo! I gotta a glass with stuff in it and room for more stuff this is awesome!” kinda girl. Optimism, in my view, is an understatement for the possibilities in which to view life.

I am also, interestingly enough, prone to paralyzing fear and doubt. There are moments of “holy crap there is no way any thing I do will make sense, turn out, or save me from ruining the entire world as we know it.” Dramatic? Maybe. But completely accurate in describing the ninja in my head that tries to steal my half full glass.

When these two forces collide in my brain space, there is really only one thing to do – mix a margarita and consider the age old question, “What would Jimmy Buffett do?”

Okay, so I jest (a little). But the truth is perception, while not everything, is a monumental part of that thing. In each situation, there are always multiple views, angles and possibilities. We can choose to focus on the dire and the paralyzing. Or, we can choose to focus on the possible and the enriching. Now understand, while I am an optimist, I understand reality. I am not saying ignore the negative. I am saying that unproductive side shows are best kept in their proper perspective.

Today I encourage you exercise your influence over your perspective. Ask the questions, “Where is the good?” Understand that while it seems easier to see the bad, it actually takes more energy. Negativity is the biggest momentum killer I know. So, while it may take a bit more initial effort to find the positive opportunity, it will pay off in increased energy, creativity, and production. Plus, rumor has it that decreased stress will make you skinny. Who knows? I am just saying. At any rate, happy sure feels better than ticked off.

Thanks for the coffee (or the margarita),

I almost hesitate to mention again what you already know. Times, they are a’changing – and these are some bumpy roads. You know it, I know it. It goes on all around us and regardless of what the ominous “they” try to tell us, we don’t know what is really going to happen next.

I hesitate because honestly, who needs world wide circumstances to make for a difficult situation? Even in the best of times, we each experience challenges and heart break. There is little to be gained by blaming a circumstance or cycle. It takes nothing more than being human to guarantee the occurrence of strife and difficulty. We are not challenged because we live in these times. We are challenged because we live at all.

And we love to look at these challenges and tout, “Now we will see what we are made of!” And that is wonderful. A formed blade spends a great bit of time in the fire. And we take these obstacles and declare triumph at their conquering. The flag in the mountain peak. Thumb our nose at the valley. And our pride swells because we have been tested and found capable.

But in the throes of fear and anxiety, we forget the adrenaline of the start and the satisfaction of the finish. When the battle has waged longer than planned and the difficulties more than anticipated, the excitement of the sport wanes and our fragility becomes more apparent. It is in that exposure of our frailty that we experience doubt of success.

Today I encourage you know that regardless of the sensitivity of the fragility, the warrior within you is still invincible. Invincible. It cannot be broken – only sacrificed or abandoned. We have within each of us the perseverance to maintain, thrive even, in the most destitute of circumstances. Easy? Probably not. But possible. The way is often shrouded in overgrown brush and is hard to find and navigate. But it is there. The summer, the fire, that passion, is indeed invincible. Get your dancing shoes ready. We are going to need them.

Thanks for the coffee,

“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” – Doris Lessing, 2007 Nobel Prize Winner

So, I didn’t know who Doris Lessing was until today. But, as soon as I read her quote, I had to look her up. Sounded very Rocky-esqe when he told his kid, “Let me tell you something you already know.”

Being told something you already know can be irritating. Ask my six year old. She’ll sigh real deep, lean her head back a bit, and say exasperatedly, “I knnnooowww.” Then she has to be reminded about her attitude and we move on.

Being told something you already know can also be energizing, comforting, and refreshing. It can increase your confidence through confirmation. It can remind you gently of important tidbits forgotten. It can renew your sense of direction with a fresh look at the map. Learning something you already know can be the highlight of your day.

Telling somebody what you already know they know can be the hardest job of all. Why? Because you already know how irritating that can be. But forgetfulness and complacency need reminding and redirecting. And it is up to us to provide it when needed and accept it when thoughtfully given. If we are friends, you would tell me if I had broccoli in my teeth. This is no different.

Don’t blow off an opportunity to learn something because you think it’s something you already know. Don’t pass up the opportunity to share because you think you have nothing new to add. Something may enter your brain in a new and exciting way. You may have an angle, an insight, a tone of voice that gives new meaning to an old topic.

One of the most special things about relationships is the sharing of information that inspires us to be better for ourselves and each other. What do you have to share today?

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

~Dale Carnegie

Let me start out today with this disclaimer. Yes, I am aware that some things, situations, places, people completely stink. I agree that there are times when the redeeming quality that you can find isn’t worth the effort it took to find it.

However, contrary to recent (or maybe just more noticeable) behavior, a good many people are starting to think my disclaimer is the norm. It is not. If we were real honest with ourselves, we would instinctively know that it is the very rare exception.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the phrases, “that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard of”, “why in the world would they do it that way”, “this makes me sick”, or other moans that sound like that. I have heard them so often, I have noticed them coming from my mouth as well, even as I am disgusted by the same behaviors in others – now ain’t that crazy.

I have had to spend a good bit of time reminding myself that the way I see things isn’t always the way things are. My perception is only one of a variety of perceptions – all of which have different histories and influences. Should I assume the worse of the available perceptions is accurate, my attitude and influence in the situation becomes yet another negative influence. The situation escalates and I have achieved my prophecy – completely self fulfilled and avoidable with a better attitude.

Today, I encourage you to mind your company and mind your behavior. Think of those folks that you really enjoy spending time with – they are uplifting, supportive, positive, encouraging. Appreciate that in them and commit to treating others that way. Our behaviors, if not carefully watched, are apt to follow in line with those around us. I am not placing blame, as we are all responsible for our own reactions and choices. I am acknowledging a choice to remember that good is nice, great is better and exceptional is the goal. And we can get there – with character, self control, and just a little help from a few friends.

“A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things.”
– Rear Admiral Grace Hopper (1906-1992)

As a Naval electronic tech, I I heard a lot about Admiral Hopper. She was a pioneer in computer technology development. More interesting to me is the era in which she lived and accomplished so much as a woman. I can only assume obstacles where far more numerous. The women of the early 21st century would do well to remember the tenacity displayed by the women of the early 20th century. In fact we would all do well to reflect on the champions of our past.

Often we find those who have gone before us that inspire us to greater things. We concentrate heavily on the accomplishments and thrill at the journey they took throughout their life. We honor the challenges they overcame and admire their ability to move forward regardless of obstacles.
However, few of us translate these experiences into an example of what we can do for ourselves. For some reason, there is a gap between what we believe what others can achieve and we can accomplish ourselves. It is as if we assume those who have gone before us have some unknown superpower or possess a secret that they didn’t share. They could do all those things, but we can’t.

Today I encourage you to remember that no ship worth is building is meant to stay in port. And no life worth living is compelled by fear and apprehension. Your inner warrior appreciates the accomplishments of those who have gone before you. That warrior is anxious to be among the ranks of those who have sailed fearlessly. Pull up the anchor and be that person who inspires. The potential is in you.

Being in control of your life
and having realistic expectations about
your day-to-day challenges
are the keys to stress management,
which is perhaps the most important ingredient
to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

~Marilu Henner

I just accomplished the rarely achieved and the utterly unexpected – I slept for nearly 12 hours. I walked in the door last night, kissed the family and laid down on the bed. That was it until coffee time. I felt pretty good and profusely thanked my dear husband who, with four children, had to have worked very hard to leave me uninterrupted. His response, “No worries baby, you must have really needed it.”

Needed it maybe, but probably not deserved. I have been really slack lately on listening to my body and managing my health. Stress is a natural occurrence in life. I do not find it evil or good. As far as I am concerned, stress is amoral. It just is. My ability to name it, handle it and work with it is where the opportunity lives.

It has been overly easy with the hustle and bustle of summer, the desire to perform professionally, the interest in moving my writing forward and the ever ball of excitement that is my home to throw up my hands and say, “well, it’s just not going to happen.” It is exceptionally simple to say, time, money, opportunity, resources are limited, therefore, I get a pass in paying attention to the habits and techniques that not only balance my stress but allow me to be an overall healthier person.

I hear an abundance of excuses, how about you? Now admittedly, some of our excuses are legitimate. The last thing I want is for you to think that I am coming from a standpoint that says you fail if you can’t figure it all out. I certainly am not. I could not, at this time, spend hours a day in the gym, hire a personal trainer or spring on my children a whole new dinner menu. I don’t expect most folks could.

But, I can stop talking about what I can’t do in this area and start focusing on what I can. Seems to me to be a far more positive, if not productive, means of confronting the challenge and communicating with myself.

Today, I encourage you to name that thing that you know would benefit you in some way – health, stress, finances – whatever. If you are anything like me, you have already considered all the “can’t” reasons. Try for a moment to find the baby steps. Redefine the win. Where are the small, doable “cans”? This morning, it has become clearly obvious to me that this is one thing I must do. I can’t think of many days where a 12 hour sleep cycle will support my schedule. And the husband, as gracious as he was, shouldn’t have to either. Racking the body and the mind until it collapses into a coma is not the smartest way to handle life – and we all know how much we love the smarter way!

Thanks for the coffee,

*Photo Credit to Denise Cross