I have to tell you, as the first post to catalog my answers over at Quora, I don’t know about how I am doing the titles. I mean seriously, look at that – “Cheaters, Pregnancy, SAHM, and Marrying Bipolar” – really? This could be a trash afternoon talk show.
But it isn’t. I think you’ll see by the answers.
Why can’t I leave my husband when I know he won’t stop cheating?
One of two things are true. Either you don’t care that he cheats or you do. Either answer is fine. It’s your vagina. You are grown and are allowed to do with it what you want. It’s your marriage. You are allowed to exist in it the way you want. That isn’t anybody else’e judgement call. You’ll find lots of people who expect you to live your life according to their expectations. Those aren’t your people. I would be careful what advice you let into your headspace. The last thing you need are other people assaulting your worth.
However, from the way you stated your question, I am going to assume you do care and you would rather he didn’t.
You can’t leave him because you just don’t want to leave him. And because no one is likely to tell you this, that is just okay. You may want to want to leave him, but you aren’t there yet. I get it. You probably didn’t meet him and marry him the same day. It is fair deciding you don’t want to be married anymore takes time too. Take the time.
In truth, you may not even want to get there. Many marriages survive infidelity. Many don’t. Guess what? None of that matters because we are talking about your marriage particularly and personally.
We all have the capacity to be a strong, fierce. amazing people. Whether we decide to act within that capacity is a constant choice. Some days that is easier to harness than others. That’s just okay.
The question I would ask you is what did you do today to love yourself? How did you honor your greatness as a person? In what ways did you do things that felt in line with who you are at your core? That’s where all the answers are and that’s where the path to your best life is.
What should I buy my wife as a gift for the birth of our first child?
This answer is going to probably found by paying close attention to her pregnancy journey. And if I am going to beg you not to judge, or protect her from allowing others to judge, her coming into a new momness. She is entering into the most supportive, wonderful, potentially vicious group on the planet.
If being the mommy is super cool to her, a gift that reflects that would be special. Think something that would be appropriate on Mother’s Day.
If she is feeling a bit overwhelmed, think about something that would bring her comfort. The spa idea is great, just remember she won’t be real capable of enjoying that fully during her recovery.
If she is feeling a bit taken over, a gift that is specifically for her would probably be well received.
Whatever you decide on, remember that she was your sexy, desired, loved wife first. In fact, always remember that and make sure she knows that’s still what you see.
Delivering a child is the most beautifully gross thing ever. I came out of each of my deliveries feeling like the strongest badass on the planet. I also felt gross. My body looked and did less than stereo typically attractive stuff in the process of bringing each new life into the world.
The truth is honoring and loving all the parts of her, being in awe of what she is doing, is the best gift you could give her. But something in a pretty wrapped box is an excellent idea. Just the fact that you thought enough to ask the question suggests you are going to do just fine. Congratulations to your family.
Can a stay-at-home mom be fulfilled?
Outside of some rare characteristic, I believe all people have the capacity to be fulfilled.
The journey to finding that usually starts with a reframing or a solid truth acknowledgment of the question in the first place.
Your question – Can a {insert personal label or characteristic here} be fulfilled?
Answer – Yes
The flow chart next step is, “Do I currently feel fulfilled?”
That is where the magic starts.
I can only assume your current answer is “no.” Otherwise, there would be no question.
As a people, we are inundated with assaults to our authenticity. Moms are, in my opinion, the toughest hit targets (For the “Other” Moms) In that collective, it is easy to lose sight of what we actual feel in exchange for what we think we ought to feel.
Capacity for fulfillment happens when we understand that achieving it comes from the sum of our whole, not a sliver of ourselves to which we have attached a label. Especially one that is, by nature, temporary.
How is it to be married to a bipolar person?
It’s the same as being married to anybody else. Seriously. I’ll explain.
Rarely are people blessed with perfect health throughout their lives. If your spouse has high blood pressure, cancer, hemophilia, diabetes, whatever, they have to take that into consideration with their diet and medical choices. That is exponentially easier with a higher rate of success when the spouse is supportive.
Communication is key in a marriage. You have to talk, understand, be patient, assume the best intentions, remember that you love the person standing in front of you.
Boundaries are essential. Regardless of condition, we are entitled to create and maintain boundaries concerning how we will and won’t be treated as people. If you are married to a person who tests those boundaries often, you have to make a decision on whether the relationship is a healthy one. This truth does not change based on a diagnosis.
All marriages have characteristics that make them different from other marriages. But in all of them, it takes support, communication, love, boundaries, effort, and intention.
